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Dear Ann Landers,
'm sure I'm not the only person who's had this problem, and I'd like your opinion on how it should be handled. My brother is dying. He was my fa-vorite and I am very sad. Before he passes on I would like to know if it would be all right if I did my mourn-ing at home and skipped the funeral. I would prefer to remember my brother as he was and not see him laid out in a casket. Funerals have always been depress-ing to me. I do not care for the "so- 478 THE ANN LANDERS ENCYCLOPEDIA cial" luncheons that follow. The sob-bing of relatives is out of place since their grief never seems to interfere with their appetites.

DEAR N.T.K.,
Go to the funeral, since it will be your last act of respect for your dear brother. You can simply avoid the casket. Also-you can skip the luncheon. Your absence from the funeral would be an affront to your brother and to the other members of the fam-ily. FUNERAL FAREWELL WILL PREVENT DENIAL OF DEATH



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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