Dear Ann Landers,
ou said you would never write another word about the way toilet paper should be hung, but this latest bit of infor-mation is crucial. I read it in the St. Petersburg Times and I thought it might convince you to reconsider your decision, since we now have some hard data. At the National Kitchen and Bath Show in Atlanta recently, the at-tendees were polled on, would you believe, how to hang the toilet paper-over the top or under and close to the wall. The vote was 1,826 for over and 1,256 for under. Interesting?

Dear Largo,
OK. I reconsidered, but I doubt that the Atlanta exhi-bition will result in any conversions. An Ode to a Commode, or The Johns of Europe Bette Wright, Grosse Pointe Farms, Mich. In London, you pulled a ring Protruding from the wall, Heard a monumental flushing sound And that was simply all. In Paris, you pushed a button On the side of the latrine, Waited 20 minutes And all was peachy keen. Lucerne was somewhat simpler, Tie Rest ik Ah Lanuers / 2 2 9 You merely pulled a chain; Of this exceptional efficiency, The Swiss are very vain. In Munich, first, you find a crank And then you push a button, What happens after that, my friends, Is absolutely nuthin'. In Venice, you must pull a knob And then, you push it in; Good grief, the water won't swirl out- The canal just comes on in. When you turn the crank in Florence, You get a little miffed; The toilet doesn't flush at all. The window shade will lift. In America, we don't have winding roads Or cypress trees that line it; But look for the handle on a U.S. john, And you'll know just where to find it. Enough with the tissue issue, let's roll on to some other subjects.