Dear Ann Landers,
Empty your bladder more frequently. Two: Exercise the muscles of control by starting and stopping the urine flow voluntarily-several times a day. This should solve the problem. I once had a teacher like that and couldn't figure her out either. Is there some explanation for people who laugh when nothing is funny? CLENCHED FISTS AND GRIND-ING TEETH

DEAR FISTS AND TEETH,
Laughter can be something other than a re-sponse to amusement. It is a way to relieve tension. People who are ill at ease, embarrassed, self-conscious or at a loss for words often laugh. Laughter Teenagers who are struggling to is better than silence, they figure, even master social graces laugh a lot. It's the same thing. though it may be inappropriate. How to Select One Law is becoming an increasingly specialized profession. The lawyer who seems highly skilled in handling the purchase of a home may be of little help in a divorce case or as a criminal defense attorney. Anyone who needs a lawyer must take this into account. Finding an attorney who is competent to handle a particular matter requires the same sort of exploration as finding the "right" doctor. Relatives, friends or co-workers may be able to supply the name of a lawyer who has satisfactorily handled a similar matter for them. A lawyer who is highly regarded by a friend or acquaintance, if he himself is unfamiliar with the type of problem involved, may suggest a competent fellow practitioner. If these approaches are not successful, the local bar association can be consulted. Many bar associations provide a lawyer referral service which offers a list of attorneys capable of handling particular types of problems. Then, too, it is wise to make appointments with several lawyers to discuss the problem and the amount of the fee. In most cases, there will be no charge for an initial consultation unless the lawyer is retained to proceed with the mat-ter. Be sure to ask if there will be a charge for the consultation when you phone for an appointment. Although lawyers are now permitted to advertise routine legal services, very few have done so. Many of the advertisements are for legal clinics, of which there are two basic types. The first type of legal clinic is associated with a law school and is staffed by law students. These clinics do not charge a regular fee. They base their charges on the income of the potential client. Often they will not handle a case if the client can afford a regular attorney. Law school clinics are useful in dealing with routine matters, but will usually refuse more complicated cases. Most law school clinics will not draft wills, handle real estate transac-tions, bring suits for personal injuries or defend traffic or criminal cases. Such clinics are also frequently associated with legal aid bureaus whose purpose is to serve, without fee, people who cannot pay. The second form of legal clinic is a private organization of practicing attor-neys. These clinics are less likely to have an income limit for their clients, and will often take on complicated matters. Just as with other lawyers, how-ever, they may not be equipped to deal with problems of particular types. Be sure to ask your lawyer whether he has had experience with your type of problem. Some courts maintain through bar associations an in-court referral service. There are also special services for defense of prisoners. In some situations a legal problem may involve sums of money which are less than the fees a law-yer would be obliged to charge to handle the matter. Most states now have a pro se court which is intended to handle small claims, and where the pres-ence of a lawyer is neither necessary nor encouraged. Information about small claims procedures can usually be obtained by calling the local court-house and discussing the matter with a representative of the clerk's office. When a lawyer is obtained, it is necessary that both the client and the law-yer understand their roles and responsibilities. The fee arrangement, in par-ticular, should be covered and either a letter or a contract should be prepared to prevent misunderstanding. There are three basic types of fee arrangements. First, many simple legal matters, such as the drafting of wills and the handling of real estate transac-tions, may be covered by a fixed charge. Second, suits for personal injuries and similar claims may be charged for on a "contingent fee" basis. This means that if the client wins the case, the lawyer receives a certain percentage of the amount recovered. If the client loses, however, the lawyer receives lit-tle or nothing. Many states require that such arrangements be formally agreed to in a signed contract and it is mandatory in federal courts. Third, there may be an hourly charge for the amount of time a lawyer (or his asso-ciates) works on a case. This arrangement is commonly used in complicated transactions or by large law firms. The client is entitled to the lawyer's best estimate of the cost in advance, but should recognize that unforeseen compli-cations may make the estimate obsolete. Remember, since most lawyers do not record their time in segments of less than a quarter hour, a few short phone calls can be quite costly. Any lawyer should inform his or her client of the progress being made and should also provide copies of important documents or court papers. Civil suits, particularly in large cities, may take years to come to trial; and during much of this time, little or nothing may happen. The client should recognize that this does not mean the lawyer has forgotten the case; but on the other hand the client should be advised of significant developments. Most lawyers are competent professionals who cannot guarantee success (particularly if the case goes to court) but whose responsibility it is to protect their client's inter-ests. Finally, it is an old maxim that the lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client. The same is true of the client who retains a lawyer and then tries to handle the case himself. credit: Morris I. Leibman, Attorney, Sidley and Austin, Chicago, Illinois. Leprosy is a word that even today, among enlightened people, creates feel-ings of fear and revulsion. This goes back to the biblical interpretation. Before much was known about medical science, the Bible was used as the basis for evaluating and treating all diseases. Ignorance abounded and hy-giene was poor. Many practices were declared sinful in order to get people to take better care of themselves. When the Bible was translated into Greek, the word "leprosy" came into being. Lepra is the Greek word for skin disease. (In those days, all skin dis-eases were called leprosy.) Since many skin diseases (under poor hygienic conditions) were contagious, anyone who had a visible skin problem was banished from society. People fled when they saw a "leper" coming. "Unclean," they would shout-and toss a few coins. Lepers were easy to identify because in the advanced stages (before drugs) a leper was a revolt-ing sight. Their hands became claw-like and parts of the face and body were eaten away. There was no good definition of leprosy until about 1820, when it was defined sharply by Danielsson, a Norwegian. The organism that causes lep-rosy was isolated fifty years later by G. Armauer Hansen, and leprosy is now called Hansen's disease. Estimates on the total number of cases in the world range from five to twelve million. No country has been completely free of leprosy, but six coun-tries account for 85 percent of the total. These countries are China, Congo (Kinshasa), India, Indonesia, Japan and Nigeria. There are about two thou-sand cases in the United States but nearly half of these patients were born in other countries where they probably contracted the disease. In the United States, the disease occurs chiefly in California, Florida, Louisiana, Texas and Hawaii. Canada once had some cases in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick; however, the disease has almost disappeared from Canada. Scientists believe the germ escapes from infected persons in discharges from nose and skin sores. It is possible that the germ enters the bodies of healthy people through breaks or cuts in the skin. Leprosy is contagious but the danger of getting it has been wildly exaggerated. Relatively few people exposed to the disease ever get it. To get leprosy, a person must have low re-sistance, poor nutrition, and live in close contact with a person who has an advanced case. In instances involving married patients who continued to live with a spouse, fewer than 5 percent of the spouses were infected. It is rare for a nurse or physician who attends to a patient to get the disease. A person who has been exposed may not get the disease for several months or in some instances for as long as twenty years. The average incubation period is from six to eight years. Scientists believe that children are more likely to get leprosy than adults. A mild form of the disease may develop in about 30 percent of the children whose parents have severe cases. But leprosy persists in only about 20 per-cent of these children. There are two major kinds of leprosy-tuberculoid and lepromatous. Tuberculoid leprosy produces patchy spots on the body but may cause inflamed nerves. Patients with this type seldom spread the disease to others. Lepromatous leprosy causes a general thickening of the skin over most of the body, especially on the face and ear lobes. Facial lines deepen and the eyebrows fall out. Lumps appear on the skin. When the germs enter the eyes they cause a painful inflammation-and in severe cases, blindness. Leprosy usually affects the nerve ends of the face, arms and legs. Nerve damage may cause a loss of feeling. A leprosy patient may burn himself with-out realizing it. Severe nerve damage may also cause paralysis. Scientists cannot yet grow the leprosy bacillus on substances outside living things, but they have been able to grow the bacillus in the ears of hamsters and on the footpads of mice. Growing the germ is important so we can learn exactly how the germ is passed from one person to another, (2) test drugs that might destroy the germ and (3) develop a vaccine to prevent the disease. Since 1941 the use of drugs in the sulfone group has been very useful in controlling the disease and restricting its spread. Many people fail to realize that leprosy often is a mild disease that may be arrested without treatment. Skin discoloration may disappear or leave only faint traces. If the disease is not checked, however, severe nerve damage can cause muscles in the hands and feet to become weak. As a result, the fingers and toes may curl inward. Early treatment is important to prevent deformi-ties and other physical handicaps. Proper treatment can help these people lead an almost normal life. Bone and tendon surgery often helps to restore the use of disabled hands and feet. Leprosy becomes inactive in almost all patients who undergo treatment from three to five years or more. But the cure is not always permanent. To prevent the disease from returning, patients must consult their doctors at least twice a year and continue to take drugs. These patients can be employed without any fear that they will spread the disease to others. Until the late 1940s, any patient who was found to have leprosy was iso-lated in special hospitals called leprosariums. The United States Public Health Service maintains such a place in Carville, Louisiana. An individual who has the disease can safely be cared for at home, or in a hospital with almost no risk to his family, the hospital staff, other patients or colleagues at work. It is high time the public dropped the centuries-old concept of lepers bom of ignorance. Individuals stricken with this illness should no longer be stig-matized and discriminated against. Today a victim of Hansen's disease is much less a threat to the classroom or community than a person with VD. In fact, the chances for getting VD are infinitely greater. I visited a leprosarium in 1960 on New Providence Island near Nassau and saw many victims of the disease in various stages of deterioration. (Unfortu-nately, they contracted the illness before the sulfone drugs came into exist-ence.) Some of the patients were extremely unsightly but all were gracious and visibly delighted that a person from "the outside" would have the cour-age to come and visit them. I felt very good about that visit but confess when I returned to the hotel I scrubbed myself from head to toe-"just in case"-additional proof that al-though we know something intellectually we sometimes cannot accept it emo-tionally. credit: Robert Stolar, M.D., Clinical Professor of Dermatology, Georgetown University School of Medicine, Washington, D.C. World Book Encyclopedia. The Liberated Woman or The Career Woman in a Changing Society Surely by now the full-time career woman who is also a wife and mother can-not have anything to complain about. Society supports her efforts entirely. It is "good" for her to satisfy her need for achievement outside the home. Her children will profit by her independence, her husband will feel supported (emotionally, and perhaps financially) by her efforts. With everything going her way, what, if any, problems could possibly exist? Plenty! Society is still in a state of transition in its attitudes towards and support of the full-time career woman who also invests herself fully in the roles of Wife and Mother. This transitional state has been described from a variety of viewpoints. Statistics about working mothers, research on the dynamics of marital relationships in a dual career family and psychological studies of the effectiveness of the career woman, etc., abound in social science, literature and popular magazines. While these are all valid approaches, I am especially interested in exploring what it feels like to be a career woman in a changing society. This, then, is a report from a participant-observer, based largely on my own experiences but incorporating those of friends, colleagues, students and patients. Although the details of my career and family situation probably differ from those of other career women, I suspect that the feelings my asso-ciates and I experience are all too common. For the record, I am a psychol-ogist with a full-time faculty appointment in a department of psychiatry in a large midwestern medical school where my professional activities include research, teaching and psychotherapy. I am also the wife of a professor and the mother of two children, a kindergartener and an infant. With the excep-tion of six weeks off with the birth of each child, I have worked full time since completing a Ph.D. degree six years ago. Although I have no intention of reducing my workload in any of these areas in the future, I have consid-ered the cost/benefit of this lifestyle and find that the price by any standards is high. To me, the decision to have a full-time career or a spouse or children (or any combination thereof) is highly personal, and the reader who seeks advice on which combination is "best" won't find it here. Clearly there are advantages to a full-time career. Economic independence (whether actual or potential) is a prime consideration. The range of benefits from this alone is staggering-for example, the ability to contribute finan-cially to the family as well as the freedom to consider ending an unsatisfac-tory marriage. Feelings of independence, satisfaction and self-actualization are today's possible harvest for the career woman. In addition, feelings of competence and effectiveness can also be a heady brew. Ideally, these feelings can be derived from both career and family life; for example, organizational efficiency in managing a project at the office is not very different from the efficiency required to co-ordinate the Saturday logistics of car-pooling for music lessons, errand running and dinner party preparation. On the other hand, life is rarely ideal. The hours of satisfaction are fre-quently bought by weeks of drudgery-emotional as well as physical. Some of the more commonly acknowledged disadvantages of attempting the impos-sible, such as combining several full-time activities, include lack of time for oneself (soaking in a hot tub of water is absolutely out), being unable to complete a task begun and-of course-physical exhaustion. A different kind of disadvantage is the feeling of rage and resentment at the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) discrimination at the office-being denied leadership in a project "because we were sure you didn't want to go out of town," or being asked to take on a larger workload "because you're so efficient at that kind of thing." Life in the changing society has not yet elimi-nated discrimination against the career woman-it has only been disguised. In spite of the advantages of independence and autonomy that the career woman has, it is ironic that in some ways, she is forced to become even more dependent on others. The 7 a.m. call from the child-care provider saying she (or he) can't take the children today or the message from the weekly clean-ing lady (sexist again?) canceling her commitment for three weeks because she has decided to take an unscheduled vacation are events familiar to every career woman with children and a semi-chaotic household. The system over-load is on the woman who works full time, often coming from logistical breakdowns at home. The pressures at work are traumatic enough. When combined with criticism from other women who have chosen other lifestyles about "escaping one's responsibility to stay home and raise her own children," the load can become too much and the career woman may succumb to feel-ings of defeat and ultimately depression. All of the above disadvantages have been mentioned by other writers, but there is yet another disadvantage rarely discussed-one that I have come to recognize only in the past few years. I refer to the feeling of apartness, of separateness from others. It is not loneliness but rather the se'nse of being different and unlike anyone else in practically all situations. Perhaps this sense of apartness could also be interpreted as uniqueness, and one might then wonder why it draws a negative rather than a positive response. A com-mon example of this feeling of apartness is in a male-dominated sphere such as a medical school faculty where questions or statements by female faculty members seem to be challenged more frequently-or worse yet, ignored. The feeling of apartness includes some elements of exclusion, probably based on outdated and inappropriate mores about male-female relationships. Long-term relationships between male and female co-workers are highly suspect, and the availability of a mentor, especially in a highly competitive environ-ment, is sheer fantasy on the part of any aspiring career woman. Other elements make up this feeling of aloneness. In relating to other ca-reer women, even those in one's own specialty, interests and degree of invest-ment rarely overlap sufficiently for close camaraderie. Many professional col-leagues have chosen not to marry and/or not to have children. Others do not share the same interests outside of work and home (such as music, weaving, politics, etc.). Finally, this feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by a conscious deci-sion by the career woman to generate more aloneness. A promising friend-ship with another woman may not be pursued because building that friend-ship requires time, and time is of prime consideration in any career woman's life. Priorities must be set and acted on unswervingly or the full-time career woman may find herself the victim of chaos. It is doubtful that this feeling of aloneness can be alleviated by society. It does seem possible, however, that as the number of full-time career women who are also heavily invested in family roles increases, there will be more op-portunity to share in solving this and other disadvantages described above. It should be obvious that a woman who chooses (or is forced) to combine sev-eral full-time and competing roles is inevitably entering an arena of great po-tential for both fulfillment and pain. The woman herself must weigh the ad-vantages and disadvantages, with the knowledge that in today's changing society none of the alternatives can be described as "the best." credit: Judith McKinnon Garrard, Ph.D., Department of Psychiatry, University of Minnesota Medical School, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Life Insurance Insurance Information for Women Life insurance makes sense for any woman, married or single, who feels she has economic responsibilities. Deciding on what kind of and how much life insurance to buy can be a problem for the uninformed woman. Term insurance and whole life insurance are the two basic kinds of life in-surance policies. Term guarantees your beneficiaries a sum of money if you die within a stated period. Whole life or "straight life" combines insurance with "savings." Because term insurance is so much cheaper than whole life, it is an excel-lent buy for someone who needs immediate protection but can't spend much. On the other hand, a woman whose beneficiaries do not need the large amount of protection required by, say, the children of a widow or divorcee might buy a whole life policy, especially if she finds it hard to save on her own. Here she gets some insurance protection for her family if she dies, plus forced savings, if she lives, that will be available to her, say, at retirement, in the form of cash values. Avoid two typical mistakes. Don't be tempted to buy so much insurance that the premiums are more than you can comfortably afford, or you may be forced to drop the policy within a few years. And be wary about switching from one whole life policy to another even if a better-sounding deal is offered later on. Cash and loan values build up very slowly during the first two or three years you own a whole life policy but fairly quickly afterward. There-fore, switching to a new policy will almost always cost you more money in the "lost" cash or loan values that you would have otherwise earned on your old policy than you will save if you buy a new one. credit: Barbara Gilder Quint, "How to Get More for Your Money," Glamour magazine. Reprinted from Sola. Life Insurance* What Every Wife Should Know "Nobody but a life insurance salesman likes to think about life insurance. It's depressing and complex and mystifying, wrapped in nearly incomprehensible language. So it's not surprising that most Americans have no idea how much they need. Most are dangerously underinsured. Even Herbert Denenberg, the insurance commissioner of Pennsylvania, has never calculated how much he should have. He confesses: 'When I bought it I didn't sit down and figure it out.' "Agents sometimes suggest rules of thumb for calculating proper life insur-ance coverage; they say that the husband should have four or five times his annual income in insurance, or that 5 percent of his salary should go for life insurance premiums. But such guidelines are worthless, because individual needs vary greatly. A rich, elderly man with only his wife dependent on him may not need anything like five times his income in insurance, but a young man with a modest salary and a houseful of children may need more. "Sometimes there is a special need-providing money to pay the death taxes on a large estate, for instance, or protecting a partnership interest in a business. But the usual reason for buying life insurance is to make certain that there is enough capital to do the things a husband's income now does for the family. Since no one knows when he will die, and since insurance is meant to cover untimely death, the only sound assumption is that the husband will die tomorrow. If he does, how much capital will it take to replace his income? To arrive at the answer, the family needs to consider how many dependents there are, how long they will remain dependent, how well they are to be pro-vided for and what other resources they will have. Then it becomes a rela-tively simple matter to lay out the family's needs-the immediate cash needs first, and then the future income needs-and calculate how much capital, or insurance, will meet those needs. Many insurers have developed computer programs for working out insurance plans."\u0002 A wife should know there are many kinds of insurance and they serve different purposes. In this article we will distinguish between two major types of coverages; one that insures things (house, auto, jewels, etc.) against catas-trophes that may happen, such as fire, accident and theft; and a second that insures persons against occurrences, at least one of which positively will hap-pen, such as illness or death. It has been observed that many wives are eager to have their homes, cars and jewelry insured and suggest that their husbands purchase insurance to cover these valuables. Strangely enough, we rarely hear of wives urging their husbands to buy life insurance. In this discussion we would like to show the role a wife can play in helping her husband decide how best to protect his family should he become disabled or meet an untimely death. Her role is far more critical than she might real-ize. If her husband dies she will have to become strong and decisive. If she puts these traits into practice when he is in good health many future heart-aches will be eliminated. First of all, she must be open and candid in her willingness to discuss the fact that a husband owes it to his family to discuss the problems that would be created by his untimely death. Once the subject is opened it is relatively easy to discuss it. Unfortunately, many husbands think the topic would be stressful so they don't bring it up. So, step number one for a wife is to initiate a discussion about the income required to support the family should death or catastrophic illness occur. When we talk of life and health insurance, we refer primarily to "income replacement" insurance. Such insurance can be studied, analyzed and pur-chased just as one would approach the purchase of any tangible item. These questions s"hould be answered: What do we absolutely need to maintain our family in a minimum standard of living? How much would it cost to permit the family to continue to live in the manner to which they have become accustomed if death or catastrophic illness should strike? How should we pay for it? What options are available? It is possible through premium life insurance to spread the costs of an un-timely death over the entire lifetime of the insured, even if that lifetime is very short. There is a source from which information is available to deter-mine how much a husband is worth-thanks to an extremely talented profes-sor who taught at the University of Pennsylvania for nearly fifty years. Dr. Solomon S. Huebner became known as "the Teacher Who Changed an In-dustry." For its first fifty years the life insurance industry provided coverage on a "cost to die" basis; that is, people were encouraged to buy enough insur-ance to pay their taxes, bills and burial expenses. Dr. Huebner created a for-mula for determining "human life values" which is still in use today and is frequently used in court to place a "value" on a person who is injured or killed in an accident. The Huebner method makes it possible for a husband and wife to sit down with a qualified professional life insurance person and determine exactly what it would require to keep a widow and her family in "their world" when her husband dies. How do you make such a contract without exposing yourself to the pres-sures of a "come on strong" salesperson? It's simple if you go about it properly. Although there are over 400,000 people licensed to sell life insur-ance in America, there are some professional standards which identify those who are competent. I would not consider discussing insurance with anyone who is not a member of the National Association of Life Underwriters. This professional organization has a code of ethics and it has local associations which breed professionalism. Closely allied to NALU is the Life Underwriter Training Council (LUTCO), the Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT), the American Society of Chartered Life Underwriters (CLU) and the Association for Advanced Life Underwriters (AALU). Any person who is a member of any one of these organizations is qualified to serve you. How does such a professional go about determining your husband's "human life value"? It's relatively simple. Ask yourself: What do we absolutely need to maintain our family on a minimum standard of living? What does it cost us to live now per month? What would it cost without my husband as a "consumer"? What would be required to permit the family to continue to live in "their own world"? Today's income less that used by the breadwinner? How much would it cost? To provide "today's income" for X years would cost Y dollars? How should we pay for it? There are plans to fit many situations. Examine them all. What are all the options available? Don't be confused by the different jargon life insurance people use such as "term," "ordinary life," "limited pay life," etc. Just deter-mine what you need and what you can afford to pay. There are enough options available to fit almost every conceivable case. It is a determinable fact that there is such a commodity as a "human life value." When a human life is extinguished the personal value is lost forever, but the financial commitments of the deceased live on. The future must be paid for. It can be paid for in dollars deposited with an insurance company in advance of death, or it can be paid for by a mother who must go to work every day-not because she wants to-but because she has to, or by the stu-dent who drops out of college not because he wants to, but because he must go to work and help support the family. Many people over forty can remember that when death took a husband and father, his family moved in with relatives. Although they faced many hardships they had a place to live and at least a semblance of the life they once knew. When death strikes the head of the household in today's mobile society, the option of moving in with the in-laws is not very desirable. There is not enough room in most urban households, lifestyles are different and privacy is richly treasured. It's too late to plan your future after death strikes. Every wife should make a commitment to review her husband's "human life value" with a competent professional life insurance person. All members of the family will profit in terms of peace of mind. credit: Frank Sullivan, President, the Mutual Benefit Life Insurance Company, Newark, New Jersey. (How to Keep from Being Struck)