Dear Ann Landers,
y husband (age 3 7) has become impotent and refuses to admit anything is wrong. He says, "I just don't feel like it." What can a woman do when her husband won't acknowledge that he has a problem? It has made me desperately unhappy because our sex 8 2 ANN LANDERS life used to be wonderful. Now he is distant and sullen. A urologist as-sured him that there is no physical problem. Please help me. I don't know where else to turn. -Desperate in Denver

Dear Denver,
An avalanche of information on impotence has ap-peared in the last eight years. The experts once thought this problem was 90 percent stress-related. Today they say about 40 percent is caused by anxiety and emotional problems. They now believe the major culprits are alcoholism, diabetes, vascular or neurological irreg-ularities, prostate and urological problems and medication for high blood pressure and heart trouble. Impotence need not be viewed as a disaster. A great deal of pleasure can be experienced by being loving and innovative. More-over, when the pressure to perform is removed, a man often does better. According to Dr. William Simpson, director of the Center for Sex-ual Health at the Menninger Foundation in Topeka, Kan., your hus-band is probably suffering from inhibited sexual desire. His distancing may be a defense against humiliation. Dr. Simpson suggests that he see a certified sex counselor or sex therapist.