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Dear Ann Landers,
y husband works in an office which employs twenty-five men and women. In the past two years three of his co-workers have had weddings in their families. In all instances a blanket invitation was posted on the office bulletin board. The employees all chipped in for gifts. My husband and I attended two of the three weddings. About six other employees attended also. Our son is being married in the spring. My husband thinks we should follow the office pro-cedure and post an invitation on the bulletin board. I never felt this was proper, but he says we must not hurt anyone's feelings. He says, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." We would appreciate it, Ann, if you would help us decide.-Per-plexed

Dear Perplexed,
The Romans did plenty that wasn't worth imitating, so forget about that phrase. A notice on the office bulletin board is OK for informing employees that the coffee machine is on the bum, but it's no way to invite people to a wedding. Send personal invitations in the mail, and confine the invitations to those you want to invite.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers