Dear Margo, My ex-girlfriend, who lived with my son and me for 16 years, died of cancer. Before we knew she had cancer, she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay quite close before she died. Her ex-husband, an attorney, took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I, being financially set, was okay with that. What really hurt my son and me the most was the obituary; we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son, who really loved her. Her ex-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary. My girlfriend barely knew them. I know it's silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation. It's not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice. - Jake
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Dear Readers, , wrapped in a duffel bag. Next to the infant was a note saying: “I’m so sorry. I’m only 14 years old.” Ann, I want that young girl to know that I’m sorry, too. Her baby was another missed opportunity for my husband and me and others like us. Why don’t these girls realize that it costs a birth mother nothing to place her child with an adoption agency? If she tells her minister or school counselor that she can’t keep her child, she can be assured of help in finding it a loving home. Three years ago, my husband and I decided to have a family. We as-sumed that we would have no trouble. We were wrong. We tried for ten months and then went to a fertility specialist. We worked with her for another nine months without success and were then referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. My husband has tested “normal” since the beginning. I have been poked, prodded, pushed and probed, have had injections and laser treatment, and was finally told I had endometriosis and polyceptic ovarian disease. Now we’ve been informed that my insurance will no longer cover infertility treatment, diagnosis or drugs. The next step is a drug that will cost $8,000, with only a 45 percent chance of success. To the 14-year-old girl who wrapped her child in the duffel bag: Someone will want and need your newborn. To the others who might do something like this: Please don’t jeopardize the health of your baby by not placing it in the hands of people who will help you and know how to contact couples like us. I’m sorry about the circumstances which led that girl to give up her child and equally sorry that I can’t have that baby. -Infertile in Indianapolis
