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Dear Ann Landers,
y problem may sound as if the boys at Yale are pulling your leg again, but every word of this letter is absolutely true. Is it possible for a bird to get sexually excited when he sees a human being of the opposite sex undressing? I have a very close friend with whom I spend the night occasionally. Whenever I get ready for bed, she moves the parakeet's cage from the guest room (where I sleep) into the closet. I always thought this was rather peculiar, but I never said anything. Last week, I decided to mention it to her. She became irate and insisted that birds become sexually excited at the sight of undressed humans of the opposite sex. Is this true or not? -Never Saw a Bird Blush

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, but I know I made the right decision. Thanks for your wisdom. -- E.M., Albuquerque, N.M. 'Love or Infatuation?' Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows -- one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you -- to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him nearer. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, 'We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him.' Love says, 'Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence.' Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating. Sometimes you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels that trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later, but love never will. Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers