Dear Ann Landers,
y problem may sound as if the boys at Yale are pulling your leg again, but every word of this letter is absolutely true. Is it possible for a bird to get sexually excited when he sees a human being of the opposite sex undressing? I have a very close friend with whom I spend the night occasionally. Whenever I get ready for bed, she moves the parakeet's cage from the guest room (where I sleep) into the closet. I always thought this was rather peculiar, but I never said anything. Last week, I decided to mention it to her. She became irate and insisted that birds become sexually excited at the sight of undressed humans of the opposite sex. Is this true or not? -Never Saw a Bird Blush

Dear Never,
Your hostess' concept of what turns on our feathered friends is strictly for the birds. (The cuckoos, that is.) She is projecting her own prudishness onto the parakeet. He hasn't the faintest idea why he is being stashed in the closet. Go along with the nonsense, dear. It costs you nothing. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE IIIIFFEE!