Dear Ann Landers, I'm writing this as healing therapy and to ask for your advice. After 17 years, I began seeing a woman I used to date when we were both a lot younger. I traveled 150 miles round trip twice a week to see her and came to realize that I really did care for her a great deal. I also realized I was an absolute fool to have let her go 17 years before.
We were intimate on one occasion, and things seemed fine, when all of a sudden, she did a complete turnaround. The invitations for dinner stopped, and I could tell by her voice on the phone that something was wrong.
It has been 18 months since I have seen her. We argued over the phone last spring, mostly out of my frustration over the situation. She told me never to call her again but said she could call me. But no call has come, and I am devastated. I feel she owes me an explanation for cutting me out of her life so I can give this relationship some type of closure.
I miss her very much and don't feel I deserve this kind of treatment. I'm afraid I will never be able to trust another woman after this. Any suggestions? I am -- Hurt and Abandoned in Pa.
Dear Pa., If you haven't heard from the woman since last spring, I'd say that's a pretty strong signal that she did not care for you as much as you thought. As to why the relationship ended, it's of little importance. I suggest you accept the reality of the situation and start to look for another friend.