Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 60-year-old man who doesn't have any interest in anything or anyone. I'm bored with everybody I meet. I am bored with my job and bored with my life. I grew up in an orphanage and am unable to show love because I never had any as a child. It is impossible for me to keep a relationship going. Either I lose interest or the other party does. I wish there were some way I could feel like I did 30 years ago, when I was full of ambition and looking forward to the future. Is there any hope for me, or should I just resign myself to boredom for the rest of my life? Thanks for listening, Ann. -- Bored in Brooklyn

Dear Brooklyn,
You aren't bored; you are depressed. But you don't have to stay that way for the rest of your life. See a doctor, and ask for an antidepressant that will help you. Along with the medication, sign up for some talking sessions with a psychologist. You also need to become involved in activities that will help you feel better about yourself. I'm talking about service to others. Be a volunteer. When you encounter people with real problems, yours won't look so serious. Don't delay. Get going as soon as you read this. And please write again and let me know how you're doing.

Dear Ann Landers,
For 10 years, I was a stand-up comic and moderately successful. After a show, I liked to chat, but some people didn't understand the show was over, or they had a joke to tell me. If I never again hear, "Three guys are in a bar," I will die happy. I often ran for the exit the second my act was over. I hated doing that, because many people just wanted to say they enjoyed the show. I know people are just trying to be friendly, but comics don't have the luxury of saying, "I've finished my gig," or they would appear rude and arrogant. Life on the road is very lonely, but after accepting after-show dinner invitations a few times, I realized people didn't want to have dinner with me; they just wanted more entertainment. So, folks, we love to talk with you after the show because you are often the catalysts for spectacular stories, but please leave the jokes at home. -- Stop Me If You've Heard This One in Rochester, N.Y.

Dear N.Y.,
Every comic who reads this is going to bless you for what you have written. You sang their song.

Dear Ann Landers,
I'm writing about your response to "Perplexed Grandmother," who said she drove for hours with her "brilliant" granddaughter and there was zero communication. Not a word was spoken. I have a brother who is also brilliant -- with a Ph.D. in applied mathematics. As a child, he solved complicated mathematical problems in his sleep, but he had zero communication skills and was considered "stuck up." As a grown man, he is still incapable of small talk, and his communication skills haven't improved. The "genius" is currently on his third wife and has very little to do with his siblings or parents. People seldom measure up to his expectations, so he writes them off. I have a different theory on why brilliant people often have trouble establishing and maintaining relationships. Maybe their heads are so crowded with information that there is no room to think about family and friends. -- Washington, D.C.

Dear D.C.,
Your theory that brilliant people are incapable of forging close relationships is flawed. Normal people can have this problem, too. Keep reading for more: From Lebanon, N.J.: Your advice to "Perplexed Grandmother," who could barely get a word out of her brilliant granddaughter on a three-hour car trip, missed the mark. My over-educated ex-husband was the same way. He has a Ph.D. in engineering from an Ivy League school and was a permanent fixture on the Dean's List. We would drive for hours, and all I would get was a grunt in response to any question or comment. Often, to get his attention, I would say, "Planet Earth calling Johnny. Come in for a landing." Tell Grandma not to be offended. Her "brilliant" granddaughter may be book smart, but she needs to brush up on her people skills if she wants to make it in this competitive world. Bowie, Md.: I disagree with your advice to "Perplexed Grandmother," who couldn't make conversation with her granddaughter. Could it be that the young woman felt her grandmother was bombarding her non-stop with intrusive and irritating questions? I know how she feels. A dear friend of mine says I'm a clam, while I consider a conversation with her to be a cross-examination. Add to the mix her tendency to pass on bits and pieces of our conversations, and you get the picture. St. Catharines, Ontario: I was interested in the letter about the grandmother who was critical of her granddaughter because she couldn't get a conversation going during a three-hour car ride. That problem started long ago. I know because I have the same situation with my granddaughter. I spoke to "Mary's" mother about this, and she said, "Don't feel bad. That's the way it is with all young people today." Is she right? P.S. I never baked cookies, but I did send checks -- several of them -- and I paid for her education. Dear St. Catharines: No, she is not right. The generation gap is not as difficult to bridge today as it once was. Many "grannies" are now very much with it. The problem with some granny-teenager connections is that the closeness was not established at an early age. Too bad, but it is never too late to start, and it's up to Granny to make the move.

Dear Ann Landers,
Two years ago, I was a married woman who became involved with a married man at work. At first, it was just flirting, but before long, we knew we were in love. It was exciting and wonderful. We finally decided to divorce our spouses and get married. What do I have today? My two children, who were once happy and well-adjusted, are now in therapy. I also have huge legal bills. My in-laws despise me because they see their grandchildren only twice a year. I have a husband who sits in a chair at night drinking beer and smoking cigarettes while I cook, clean and fold laundry. I wish I had used the effort I spent trying to hide my affair and put it to work saving my first marriage. I would have been a lot happier. Please print my letter so other married women will think before they start fooling around. -- Smart Too Late

Dear Smart,
I wonder how many married women (and men) who are flirting or fooling around in the workplace will see themselves in your letter. I would not be surprised if your words nipped some of those romances in the bud. Thanks for all the marriages you may have saved today. As for yours, I suggest counseling. If the couch potato won't go with you, go alone.

Dear Ann Landers,
I have been thinking about that letter from "Left-Brained in South Carolina." He complained that his wife and children were terribly absent-minded, constantly losing keys, glasses and wallets. They put empty peanut butter jars back in the cabinet and containers in the fridge without the tops screwed on. He once found his wife's purse in the freezer. My wife has the same problem. She is not stupid, just forgetful. (I once found her handbag in the oven.) I have a few suggestions that could help families worldwide avoid domestic strife: Keep a desk with a drawer that locks. Anything I don't want my wife to get her hands on goes into that drawer. If I leave it unlocked, it will be my fault if the glue, scissors, pens and stamps disappear. Have several sets of extra keys. Every year, I take my wife's keys and have five copies made. We have a key rack next to the front door that holds five sets. A sixth set is in my locked desk drawer. When my wife loses the fourth set, I go back to the locksmith. Figure out where you want the remote control to be, and make sure it stays there. Ours is on the table next to the couch. It is secured to the table with a long length of sturdy cord and duct tape. She can drop the remote anywhere in the room, and I can always find it. Buy the cheapest pens you can find, and get 20 at a time. I put ours in a can next to the telephone. Every three weeks, I go out and buy new ones. I don't know what my wife does with the pens, and I don't ask because I don't care. Buy duplicates of whatever item keeps disappearing. In our house, it was a corkscrew. I just kept buying a new one every time I went to the grocery store. At the end of a year, some drawers had four corkscrews, and some had none, but I could usually find one when I needed it. I hope these suggestions will help others. I love my wife, and my flexibility has made a big difference in our relationship. -- Ted in California

Dear Ted,
Flexibility? I'd say you are a candidate for sainthood. Your wife is one lucky lady. Gem of the Day: You know you are a senior citizen when you don't care where your wife goes as long as you don't have to go with her.