Dear Ann Landers,
This is one of my favorite columns. It reminds us that too many people don't take time to smell the roses. I am 84 and enjoying every day. -- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
This is Ann talking. Erma was a dear friend and truly an original. The likes of her will not soon pass this way again. If I Had My Life to Live Over By Erma Bombeck If I had my life to live over again, I would have waxed less and listened more. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten popcorn in the "good" living room and worried less about the dirt when you lit the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television -- and more while watching real life. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day. I would never have bought ANYTHING just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now, go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more I love yous, more I'm sorrys, more I'm listenings, but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it, look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.

Dear Ann Landers,
My husband and I divorced last summer. We have a 9-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter. I bought a house a few miles from my ex-husband, and the children and I have been living there for the last five months. My daughter slept with me for the first month we were in our new house, until I could afford to buy her a bed. I admit it was nice, and I didn't mind. I like having my children close. The problem is, it has been five months, and she still wants to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but I am afraid it could be damaging to her in some way. I could use some advice, Ann. -- Suzi in Houston

Dear Suzi,
It is not a good idea for young children to become accustomed to sleeping with an adult parent. Put the child back in her own room, and help her go to sleep there. Divorced parents should not use a child as a spouse substitute.

Dear Ann Landers,
Two weeks ago, when I came home from the supermarket, I found a note from my husband saying there was too much pressure in his life and he needed to get away. I immediately checked our bedroom and found that all his clothes were gone. A few days later, I learned he already had another apartment and a new phone number, which proved he had been planning his escape for quite some time. I had an awful feeling of betrayal when I realized that the person I had been sleeping next to for so many years would plan to sneak off and leave me without saying a word. The note he left said he would contact me in a few days. It has been nearly a week, and I haven't heard from him. My friends tell me I should phone him and find out exactly what he has in mind, but I don't want to do that. After all, he is the one who left, and I think he should make the first move. Please give me some advice. -- Confused in the Midwest

Dear Midwest,
Don't rush. Let the dust settle. Wait another week. If you don't hear anything by then, call and tell him you need to know what his plans are so you can make yours. You gave me no clue as to your age, how long you have been married or what your financial status is. If I knew more about your situation, I could be more helpful. Good luck.

Dear Ann Landers,
I am 34 years old and about to have my first baby. My husband and I are thrilled beyond words. So what's the problem? When I told my dad that he is about to become a grandfather, he said, "Not really. I am not your father." I was devastated when he told me that and immediately confronted my mother. She said, "Your dad doesn't know what he is talking about." My father says, "Your mother knows the truth and is lying through her teeth." I don't know what to make of this. Should I have a paternity test done to settle this once and for all, or should I just drop it? Why would my father tell me such a thing after all these years? I am in a state of shock. Please help me figure this out. -- Totally Baffled in Spokane, Wash.

Dear Spokane,
In order to prove paternity through a DNA test, you and your father would have to be tested. I doubt that your father would be willing to do this. Your mother appears to be much more stable. Take her word for it. For your father to tell you at this stage of your life that he is not your real dad suggests that he may be a few bricks short of a load. Let's hope that when the baby comes, he will be so thrilled that he will forget about this nonsense.

Dear Ann Landers,
My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We have two fine children. Five years ago, my husband had an affair. I was devastated when I learned about it, but I did forgive him. He promised never to see the woman again, and he has kept his word. Here's the problem, Ann. The woman has kept in close touch with my in-laws for the past five years. My mother-in-law is well aware that this is very upsetting to me, but she continues to be friendly to the would-be home wrecker. Even my husband has asked his mother to stop seeing the woman, but she continues to be chummy. We moved from Florida partly to get away from this unpleasant situation, and believe it or not, this woman had the gall to move to this same small town. My nerves are completely shot, and I am beginning to develop health problems because of this. Can you help me? -- Hurt in Alabama

Dear Alabama,
You cannot do anything about that woman, but you can do something about yourself. Get some counseling at once. I've often said, "Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission," and the same goes for "torturing." You must put on an emotional raincoat and let whatever comes your way slide off. As for your mother-in-law, you have no right to dictate to her whom she should socialize with, so again, dear, put on that raincoat. Meanwhile, your doctor can give you something to settle your nerves.