Dear Ann Landers,
I was upset by the letter from the woman who did not want a male technician to perform a breast sonogram. I am a registered nurse who happens to be a man. According to the latest statistics, less than 5 percent of the RNs in Canada are male. Discrimination against health-care providers based on gender offends more than just the workers involved. Due to the overwhelming imbalance of women in nursing and other health professions (except physicians), most male patients have no choice but to receive care from women. Why extend to female patients the privilege denied to males -- that of selecting the gender of their caregivers? Many women who express discomfort with male nurses and other providers are, at the same time, quite comfortable seeing male physicians. Women are doctors, lawyers, engineers, politicians, welders and autoworkers and are involved in other formerly men-only trades and professions. Nobody would suggest that a woman at GM or Ford could only work on certain types of cars. Why treat health-care providers any differently? -- R.N. in Alberta, Canada

Dear Alberta,
If, as you have stated, fewer than 5 percent of the registered nurses in Canada are male, you can be sure that the patients up there have very little choice. Male patients are going to be treated by female nurses. Period. The law of supply and demand works in every area of life -- health-care services included.

Dear Ann Landers,
My husband and I were married recently. Our wedding was beautiful, but there was one problem: We had 17 no-shows and four surprise guests. Two days before the wedding, we'd had to give the caterers the exact number of guests. After that, we would get billed no matter how many no-shows there were. That means we paid for 13 extra meals that nobody ate. I understand that sometimes an emergency comes up, but we wasted more than $330 on those no-show dinners. The extra guests turned out to be no problem because of the no-shows, but generally, surprises are not welcome. What if those 17 people had shown up and we didn't have enough dinners? It would have been a nightmare. It is simply good manners to let the hostess know whether you are coming or not. And if the number of people in your party has changed, she should be informed about that, too. When you RSVP, the information you give the hostess is what the cost of the event is based on. Wedding receptions aren't cheap these days, and paying for no-shows is a terrible waste. Am I expecting too much from guests? If so, please tell me. - San Diego

Dear San Diego,
You are not expecting too much. Letting the hostess know whether or not you are coming is no more than common courtesy. Not having enough food because some slobs didn't bother to let you know they were coming is a major embarrassment. A response card and stamped envelope are well worth the extra expense. I recommend them.

Dear Ann Landers,
For 10 years, I was a stand-up comic and moderately successful. After a show, I liked to chat, but some people didn't understand the show was over, or they had a joke to tell me. If I never again hear, "Three guys are in a bar," I will die happy. I often ran for the exit the second my act was over. I hated doing that, because many people just wanted to say they enjoyed the show. I know people are just trying to be friendly, but comics don't have the luxury of saying, "I've finished my gig," or they would appear rude and arrogant. Life on the road is very lonely, but after accepting after-show dinner invitations a few times, I realized people didn't want to have dinner with me; they just wanted more entertainment. So, folks, we love to talk with you after the show because you are often the catalysts for spectacular stories, but please leave the jokes at home. -- Stop Me If You've Heard This One in Rochester, N.Y.

Dear N.Y.,
Every comic who reads this is going to bless you for what you have written. You sang their song.

Dear Ann Landers,
Knowing your strong views about sending thank-you notes, I'm sending a clipping from our local paper as proof that this actually appeared. At the end of an article about the marriage of two local people, along with a beautiful wedding picture, it said, "In lieu of sending personal thank-you notes for wedding gifts, the couple made a donation to the American Cancer Society." Is this the lazy way out, or what? Aren't people who send wedding gifts entitled to a written thank-you note, even if it only says, "Thank you for the wedding gift"? Is it a new trend to thank people en masse when the bridal photo appears in the paper? Please say it isn't so. -- An Ohio Grandmother

Dear Ohio Granny,
No, it's NOT a new trend. It's an attempt to escape the tedious job of writing thank-you notes and, in my book, inexcusable. Anyone who takes the time and spends the money to send a wedding gift is entitled to a written note of appreciation. Anything short of that is a cop-out and totally unacceptable.

Dear Ann Landers,
I plan to be married in a few months and need some advice. My fiance and I have been together for almost seven years and have all the appliances and accessories we need to furnish our new apartment. We could use some furniture, however, and are now in the process of looking at chairs, tables and so on. Several friends and relatives have let us know they want to give us a shower or a party. We really don't need presents. We would be thrilled if they would give us money so we could buy furniture. Is there a polite way we could ask for money instead of a shower or wedding gift without looking tacky? - Broke in Mississippi

Dear Broke,
If you have a close relationship with aunts, uncles or cousins and they ask, "What do you NEED?" it would be OK to say, "We have everything we need except furniture and are now looking at several pieces. If you'd like to give us a check to help furnish our apartment, that would be wonderful." I know of no polite way to ask friends or relatives who want to give you a shower or wedding gift to give you money instead.