Dear Ann Landers, I am writing this as I face months of growing out a miserable haircut. I want all barbers everywhere to become aware of what is universally the major complaint against members of their profession. It is taking off too much hair.
I spent 20 years in the Navy where we were required to get regulation short haircuts.
Now that I am retired, I should be able to enjoy the freedom of longer hair, but it seems I am doomed to be denied this pleasure. A barber can always take off more hair if the customer feels it's still too long, but he cannot put hair back on. The fact that hair does eventually grow back is small consolation when you look as if you've been scalped.
I know this is a minor problem compared to others you get, Ann, but right now, I'm so darned mad, I decided the best way to let off steam and maybe educate those scissor-happy nitwits was to write to you and pray that my letter makes the paper. Sign me -- Shorn in San Diego
Dear Shorn, I'm sure your letter will not be taped to any barbershop mirrors around the world, but rest assured, your barber, as well as thousands of other barbers, will see it and ask, "Could this be me?"
Those who cut women's hair should also pay attention. There is no wrath equal to that of a woman shorn.
Dear Ann Landers, Have Americans forgotten there is such a thing as verb tense? I am shocked when I hear people say "woulda came," "coulda went," "shoulda did," "woulda took," "had went," "hadn't came" and so on. Don't they realize "woulda" and "coulda" are slang versions of "would've" and "could've" -- which are contractions for "would have" and "could have"?
I heard a narrator say, "I seen," in a political commercial and a TV reporter say, "We haven't spoke." An attorney in a television show said, "The evidence do not," and a TV anchorwoman said, "Had threw it" and "between you and I."
I was a secretary for almost 50 years and am thankful that, with only a high school education, my English is impeccable. You will do a lot of folks a big favor if you print this letter and bring it to their attention. -- E.E., Wood Ridge, N.J.
Dear E.E., Thanks for taking the time and trouble to write. I shoulda thunk to tell them off myself.
Dear Ann Landers, My in-laws have a habit of coming to our home without calling first. There have been times when my mother-in-law has called me on the phone "just to chat" and never says a word about coming over. Then, she shows up at the door 10 minutes later with a goofy grin on her face. I'm sure she enjoys these surprise attacks.
My husband has asked his parents politely several times to call before coming over. One Sunday morning, they dropped by, and he refused to let them in, saying it wasn't a good time. You'd think they would get the hint. They didn't. I have come home from work on my lunch hour to find them in the house. We also have come home from work and seen evidence that they had been here.
My husband gave them a key to our previous house, but when we moved, I refused to let them have a spare. However, there is a key that we keep hidden outside for emergencies, and my husband told his parents where it is. He said apologetically, "They might need to get into the house in case of an emergency."
Ann, what can I do about this galling situation? I'm at the end of my rope and totally out of patience with my in-laws. Please advise. I no longer can think rationally about this problem. -- Ohio Nightmare Without End
Dear Ohio Nightmare, Your principal problem is not with your in-laws; it's with your husband. Telling his parents where to find the hidden key was nothing short of a betrayal.
Find another place for the key (not the mailbox or under the doormat -- that's the first place thieves look).
Inform your husband in no uncertain terms that he is not to tell his parents of the new location.
If your in-laws show up again on a Sunday, tell them bluntly that you are not ready for company and to phone in the future, please, because you cannot entertain them properly when they just drop in.
Dear Ann Landers, I'm writing this as healing therapy and to ask for your advice. After 17 years, I began seeing a woman I used to date when we were both a lot younger. I traveled 150 miles round trip twice a week to see her and came to realize that I really did care for her a great deal. I also realized I was an absolute fool to have let her go 17 years before.
We were intimate on one occasion, and things seemed fine, when all of a sudden, she did a complete turnaround. The invitations for dinner stopped, and I could tell by her voice on the phone that something was wrong.
It has been 18 months since I have seen her. We argued over the phone last spring, mostly out of my frustration over the situation. She told me never to call her again but said she could call me. But no call has come, and I am devastated. I feel she owes me an explanation for cutting me out of her life so I can give this relationship some type of closure.
I miss her very much and don't feel I deserve this kind of treatment. I'm afraid I will never be able to trust another woman after this. Any suggestions? I am -- Hurt and Abandoned in Pa.
Dear Pa., If you haven't heard from the woman since last spring, I'd say that's a pretty strong signal that she did not care for you as much as you thought. As to why the relationship ended, it's of little importance. I suggest you accept the reality of the situation and start to look for another friend.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a 60-year-old man who doesn't have any interest in anything or anyone. I'm bored with everybody I meet. I am bored with my job and bored with my life.
I grew up in an orphanage and am unable to show love because I never had any as a child. It is impossible for me to keep a relationship going. Either I lose interest or the other party does. I wish there were some way I could feel like I did 30 years ago, when I was full of ambition and looking forward to the future.
Is there any hope for me, or should I just resign myself to boredom for the rest of my life? Thanks for listening, Ann. -- Bored in Brooklyn
Dear Brooklyn, You aren't bored; you are depressed. But you don't have to stay that way for the rest of your life. See a doctor, and ask for an antidepressant that will help you. Along with the medication, sign up for some talking sessions with a psychologist.
You also need to become involved in activities that will help you feel better about yourself. I'm talking about service to others. Be a volunteer. When you encounter people with real problems, yours won't look so serious. Don't delay. Get going as soon as you read this. And please write again and let me know how you're doing.
