Dear Ann Landers,
"Frustrated in L.A." blamed the impossible-to-open drug containers on the guy who spiked the pain-reliever capsules. Wrong target. The reason those caps were designed was to stop toddlers from killing themselves. It's worth it. Please tell your readers that those containers CAN be opened. Place the bottle on the kitchen or bathroom counter. Then, put your palm on the bottle top and lean on it while turning your palm counter-clockwise. If you use your body weight to twist the cap, it will unclick from the locked position and be easier to open. -- Brad in Highland Park, Ill.

Dear Brad,
I tried it, and you're right. It works! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Dear Ann Landers,
My best friend is slitting her wrists. I know she doesn't want to end her life, but whenever she has a bad day at school or problems at home, she cuts herself. The last time she did this, I threatened to tell her parents, but she pleaded with me to keep quiet and promised she would never do it again. We are both 14. She is my best friend, and I want her to be happy and healthy. What can I do to help her? -- Just Me in Philadelphia

Dear Philadelphia,
You must insist that your friend get some counseling at once. She should see the school nurse, the family doctor or her favorite teacher. Self-mutilation is a serious problem and requires immediate attention. Don't delay, and don't let her talk you out of it.

Dear Ann Landers,
I commend you for printing the letter from "Sick of It in South Dakota," whose children lived with their father after her divorce. She said it's time to accept the idea that sometimes the kids are better off with Dad. I am a divorced father with two boys, ages 7 and 9. They live with their mother. I pay out a lot of money for child support, but I doubt that the money is being spent on the children. If it were, I wouldn't have to take them for haircuts and buy them sneakers and winter jackets. I've asked my lawyer whether there is any recourse, but was told I could not dictate where the child support money goes. I have recently remarried. My new wife is very supportive and has a great relationship with my sons. She is more of a mother to them than my ex-wife. I see my children every Wednesday and on alternate weekends. When it is time for them to go home, they cry and tell me they don't want to go. They have asked to live with me. I know they would be happier if that were possible, and they would have a more stable and secure environment, but unfortunately, the courts do not see it that way. I have attempted to get custody of my sons, but the courts seem interested only in how much money I can pay. And have you noticed that when a couple gets divorced, the kids almost always end up with the mother, leaving the father with a painful court battle and an expensive legal bill? In spite of the aggravation, I refuse to give up. I'm still fighting for my boys. Ann, please tell all the divorced dads who love their children that they must stay in their children's lives, no matter what. Their children need them. -- Been There and Done That in New York

Dear New York,
Your letter speaks more eloquently than anything I might say. Every divorced dad who has walked in your shoes is grateful to you for writing.

Dear Ann Landers,
I would like to address this message to the grown children of widowers who are involved in relationships with widows in the evening of their lives. Many of these children do not understand how important we are to one another, and they treat us as if we were "intruders." To these children, I would like to say: I am the one who makes sure your father takes along a jacket so he doesn't get chilled in an air-conditioned movie theater. I am the one to whom he tells all his life stories, often more than once, and I still listen to them respectfully. I am the one who goes to the doctor with him, at his request, to help him remember what the doctor says. I am the one who plays cards with him as we listen to music, just to keep him company and because I like him. I am the one who watches that he doesn't eat the foods the doctor has told him he shouldn't have. I am the one who sits by his bedside in the hospital, making sure he is cared for, fluffing his pillow, speaking to the doctors, reporting back to you and, finally, driving him home to his apartment. I am also the one who respects and admires your father, values his opinion, appreciates his kindnesses, loves his affection, revels in his compliments and needs his companionship. You should call me now and then and let me know you are pleased that I am in your father's life. -- Florida Widow

Dear Florida,
I wonder how many sons and daughters who read your letter today will make that phone call? I'll bet it will be more than you think.

Dear Ann Landers,
I am concerned about the advice you gave "Befuddled," the teenager who was afraid her girlfriend, "Lottie," might be a lesbian because she slept in the nude when they shared a bed. You told her to continue the friendship but not to accept any more invitations to sleep over. Your response left me with a sinking feeling. When friends are uneasy about something like this, it is not OK to ignore it. Also, a friendship that is not based on trust can be hollow at best. As a woman who works with lesbian and gay young people, I find it highly unlikely that Lottie is a lesbian. If such were the case, she would not have risked a negative reaction from her friend. Rejection from those they care about is one of the principal concerns of gay youth. All teenagers, gay and straight, should be encouraged to be honest with their peers and not engage in deception. If the writer has worries and does not deal with them directly, the friendship will suffer. Please let her know that being gay is not the issue. The real issue is empowering young people to be forthright and vocal with each other about situations that make them uncomfortable. Staying silent accomplishes nothing and leaves them frustrated and confused. -- C.M. in the Southwest

Dear C.M.,
I had several complaints about my response to that letter and am inclined to think my answer was a dog. Your last sentence is a far better response. Thanks for cleaning up after me.