Dear Ann Landers, When we retire, my husband and I plan to build a new house in the country. To date, I have bought 14 house-plan books and have concluded that most architects must be men. No woman would put the bedrooms and bathrooms at one end of the house and the laundry room at the other end, attached to the garage.
If I may speak to all the architects out there, I suggest you consider these things when you draw up your next house plan:
1. The laundry room should be next to the bathrooms and near the bedrooms so we don't have to carry 40-pound loads 100 yards to and from the laundry. Don't put it next to the garage unless the bedrooms and baths are on the second floor and there is a laundry chute.
2. A kitchen is not a highway. Nobody should have to go through the kitchen to get anywhere except the pantry or the dining room. It is very inconvenient, and also unsafe, to have to dodge foot traffic while you cook.
3. We need in-the-house storage space for paper goods, books, vacuum cleaners, brooms, fans, serving platters, folding chairs and card tables, seasonal decorations, large roasting pans, exercise equipment, winter blankets, extra pillows and so on.
4. We need more one-story house plans. Many older people who can afford large, even luxurious, homes do not want to climb stairs.
I know I can hire an architect to draw my house plans to specification, but maybe this will help other women down the line. -- Future Builder in Louisiana
Dear Louisiana, I hope all the architects and folks out there who are considering building (or buying) a home someday will clip this column. You have made some splendid suggestions that are worth heeding.
Dear Ann Landers, You recently printed a job description for nurses dating from the 19th century. The writer gave the erroneous impression that nursing is a lot easier today than it was then. He is wrong.
After 20 years as a nurse, I've seen tremendous changes in both duties and ethics. Today, nurses must be educated and continue to keep up-to-date on technical advances and procedures. There are discoveries almost daily that affect how illness, wounds and trauma are treated. Nurses must learn how to operate newly invented devices that improve the care of patients.
Today, a nurse must be a facilitator, educator, caregiver, confessor and manager. She must also have intelligence, compassion and intuition. Years ago, the nurse fulfilled the role of what would be a nurse's assistant today. Now, nurses handle more duties so the physician can concentrate on the more complicated situations. We are no longer menial servants, as that century-old job description would indicate, but highly educated, highly skilled medical professionals working to bring the best care to each person who seeks our help.
I do not claim that nurses are one rung down from sainthood, but we're close. -- New Jersey R.N.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a male escort while I am working on my master's degree at a university in Washington, D.C. I take out women (usually my mother's age) and am paid well. There is no sex involved. These women simply need a decent-looking, well-dressed guy to take them to various social events at which they would feel ill at ease if not accompanied.
Very few friends know about my "moonlighting," which is the way I want it. I have met some interesting, intelligent women in my work, most of them widowed or divorced. Three of these women would like to marry me.
Marriage is out of the question. I am gay. Should I tell them? It would be easier than trying to make up reasons for my lack of interest. Yes or no, Ann? -- Mr. X in D.C.
Dear Mr. X, No. A negative response to the marriage proposals is adequate. There is no need to go into detail about your personal life. Meanwhile, don't be ashamed of your part-time job. The older women are no doubt grateful for the company. And escorting them to social events is a lot easier than cleaning office buildings at night.
Dear Ann Landers, I take issue with "Joy in Mudville," who said the Internet is not a source of information but a tool for communication. She has it half right.
Joy is confusing the Internet with electronic mail. Email is only as reliable as the sender, but the Internet is the biggest, grandest encyclopedia anywhere. I can find revolving 3-D images of the inside of the space shuttle and pictures of the Louvre in Paris or the Sistine Chapel in Rome. I can read The Washington Post or the complete works of Shakespeare, get the latest news from Reuters or order a book for my mother's birthday.
Saying the Internet is just a form of communication is like saying the Library of Congress is just a lot of books or that Yale is just a lot of buildings. To lump email chat rooms in with the highly reputable sites that are available through the Internet is inaccurate. Saying "I read it on the Internet" could be the same as saying "I read it at the library." The Internet is a tool. How you use it is up to you. Sign my letter -- Web-Head in the USA
Dear Web-Head, Get out the wet noodle. My readers have convinced me that the Internet, when used properly, has a lot more to offer than I thought. It appears that people can now get what is tantamount to a college education without leaving their homes. This is truly remarkable.
Dear Ann Landers, You have printed several letters from nurses who said their job is difficult, back-breaking and unrewarding. While I agree this is not the easiest work in the world, I feel privileged to be a nurse because I can make a difference in the lives of people when they need it most. I am honored to be a member of this noble profession and am sure there are thousands of others like me. -- Becky in Charleston, S.C.
Dear Becky, Thank you for your touching letter. I recently received this poem from the Faxton Hospital Foundation in Utica, N.Y., which the nurses in my reading audience will find inspiring:
What Is a Nurse?
by Ann E. Coupe
A nurse is a very special person, who
Never fails to place the needs of patients first, whose
Unique gentleness and depth of love are selflessly given: a
Radiant and humane person, dedicated to caring for the sick: that
Special bridge between physician and patient so vital to recovery.
Ever loving, ever giving, a nurse is the orchid of God's flowers.
And now, dear readers, what follows is the last corsage I am pinning on the nurse's shoulder for several months to come. Here it is:
