Dear Ann Landers, I just read a story in The Macomb Daily, a paper here in Michigan, about a 72-year-old resident of Pittsburgh. This man owns a salon and barbershop supply business, which he bought in 1983. He recently received a notice saying he owes a property tax bill of $1,151 that goes back to 1911, before this man was even born. It seems the debt had gone undetected, even though the property had changed hands several times.
When the man expressed his astonishment, he was told that the passage of time and the change in ownership did not make any difference. He still has to pay the back real estate taxes. I find this outrageous. -- Mary in Warren, Mich.
Dear Mary, It is good of you to take up this man's cause, but I'm afraid he is stuck. According to Dominick Gambino, administrative assistant to the Allegheny County controller, anyone who buys property is responsible for the outstanding tax liens. In this instance, however, the tax lien was so old, it did not show up on a standard title search when the man bought the property back in 1983.
The county sold its tax liens to a private company in 1997, which then discovered the old debt when it began cleaning up the county's records. You will be pleased to know that the beauty supply owner has title insurance that ought to cover it.
Dear Ann Landers, My 23-year-old daughter is engaged to marry a young man I cannot stand. She seems very happy, and that is the most important thing, but the relationship worries me. "Francine" used to date a fellow I adored, but they broke up. He had all the qualities I admired. Her current beau has none of them. "Cal" loses his temper a lot and yells at Francine. I have mentioned my concerns and let her know that if he ever hits her, she can come to me anytime.
Francine is now living with Cal, and they have a joint bank account. He has a so-so job but never pays for anything if he can help it. Restaurant meals and movie tickets are always on her. He has no ambition to attend college, and I am sure Francine will end up supporting him, which galls me to no end. I am civil in Cal's presence but just barely. He constantly puts Francine down, and I invariably find myself defending her.
I have begged Francine to wait another year before making a final commitment, but she refuses. Her brother just married, and I wonder if perhaps she isn't competing with him. Is there anything I can do? -- Pennsylvania
Dear Penn., Yes, you can stop knocking Cal and do your darndest to find something about him to admire. This will baffle Francine. Do not mention the old boyfriend you like, or she will never go near him. Meanwhile, keep busy, and pay as little attention as possible to your daughter's social life. A 23-year-old woman might interpret her mother's "guidance" as interference and marry the guy to assert her independence.
Gem of the Day (Credit Sara Weintraub, age 90, Boston): "If I had everything to do over again, I would care 20 percent less."
Dear Ann Landers, Please publish this letter. I would like to send it to a young woman who needs to see it in print. As of now, she has done nothing to indicate that she knows how to behave decently.
My son recently attended the wedding of a friend who married the woman I'm writing about. Three days after the wedding, the groom told the bride (on their honeymoon) that he didn't love her and he was sorry he didn't have the courage to tell her so long before the ceremony. They came home and are now being divorced. Somehow, the bride ended up with all the money (a considerable amount) they received as wedding gifts.
The people who gave the couple money intended to help them start their lives together. I feel that by keeping the money, the woman is being selfish and behaving in a manner that is socially incorrect. That money, along with all the other wedding gifts, should have been returned to the senders. She has no right to benefit financially from this unfortunate incident. What do you think, Ann? -- Outraged in New York
Dear New York, I agree with you. I hope the ex-bride sees this column and decides to do the decent thing.
Dear Ann Landers, I am a 42-year-old man, married with two children. Things are just fine within my immediate family. The problem is my mother. She wants me to buy her an automobile. Not just any automobile. She wants one exactly like mine.
Mother has a comfortable lifestyle and can certainly afford to buy any car she wants on her own. However, for some reason, she thinks I should give her one. And, of course, she doesn't want anything as moderately priced as the neighbor's car. She feels entitled to a car just like mine -- the expensive variety. No other car will do.
Ann, I have worked hard for everything I have, including my car. I paid my own way through college and am reasonably successful in business. I do not feel that I should deprive my children of the money we are saving for their college education in order to satisfy my mother's expensive taste in automobiles. I have told her that money is tight at the moment, but this hasn't stopped her from nagging.
My relationship with my mother has never been terribly close, and now, her pressuring me to buy a car is straining it to the breaking point. I don't want to destroy the good will that I have slowly and carefully built up over the years. I need some advice. -- No Name, No City, Please
Dear N.N.N.C., Does your mother have a hearing problem? Tell her, in a voice slightly louder than normal, that you cannot afford to buy her a car, and you would appreciate it if she would quit asking. Let her know it pains you that you cannot give her everything her heart desires, but that your children's education comes first. Repeat as often as necessary.
Dear Ann Landers, At this time of year, many taxpayers may be worried about the Internal Revenue Service. Please tell them there is professional help available. Enrolled agents (EAs) are tax professionals licensed by the Treasury Department to represent taxpayers before the IRS.
In 1884, President Chester Arthur created enrolled agents to help sort out claims to the Treasury arising from the Civil War. Today, EAs prepare tax returns, provide assistance to taxpayers who need help in complying with our national, state and local tax laws, and, most importantly, help taxpayers in disputes with the IRS.
The 10,000 members of the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA) work with millions of individual and small-business taxpayers each year. Enrolled agents also help people who have not filed returns in many years. We understand that many taxpayers have had serious personal problems that caused them to miss filing a return, which then snowballed into several missed years. Our concern is to help the taxpayer get through the fear of the government and become compliant once again.
If readers need assistance, NAEA has a referral line to help taxpayers find an enrolled agent located near them. The toll-free number is 855-880-NAEA. -- Carol W. Thompson, chair, NAEA Public Information Committee, Monterey, Calif.
Dear Carol Thompson, Your letter certainly has put a kind face and extended a friendly hand to those who are delinquent in their taxes and afraid to come out from behind the bushes. You've reduced the fear in a great many people who will now file because you wrote. Everybody wins. Thank you.
Gem of the Day (credit Jane Fonda): When a man like Robert Redford ages, they say, "Those lines make him look very distinguished." When they look at me, they say, "She looks a lot older than when I saw her in her last movie."
