, Advice by Ann Landers - []
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Section: manners, money

Dear Ann Landers,
Please publish this letter. I would like to send it to a young woman who needs to see it in print. As of now, she has done nothing to indicate that she knows how to behave decently. My son recently attended the wedding of a friend who married the woman I'm writing about. Three days after the wedding, the groom told the bride (on their honeymoon) that he didn't love her and he was sorry he didn't have the courage to tell her so long before the ceremony. They came home and are now being divorced. Somehow, the bride ended up with all the money (a considerable amount) they received as wedding gifts. The people who gave the couple money intended to help them start their lives together. I feel that by keeping the money, the woman is being selfish and behaving in a manner that is socially incorrect. That money, along with all the other wedding gifts, should have been returned to the senders. She has no right to benefit financially from this unfortunate incident. What do you think, Ann? -- Outraged in New York

Dear New York,
I agree with you. I hope the ex-bride sees this column and decides to do the decent thing.

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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
I hope that ex-groom puts the stoppers on that nasty woman. I agree, all money

LeAnne's Comment
Are you kidding me? The groom tells her 3 days after the wedding that he knew he didn't love her and should have told her long ago. I doubt the wedding was free not to mention emotional anguish. The money is hers to help cover the expenses.

Reader Comment
let him pay it back he was ridiculous to wait until after their wedding to tell her he doesn't love her.

Reader Comment
Oh, Ann, you really blew it this time. Why is this nosy woman even discussing this? It is none of her business--she isn't even a relative! This bride of 3 days was told by her cowardly husband he didn't love her and didn't want to be married to her. Her family may well have paid for all of the wedding expenses. Within the three days they were together some of the gift money was probably already spent on their honeymoon. Let the boob who dumped her reimburse the guests! It is the LEAST he can do.

Karen 's Comment
Wedding gifts are given in exchange for the meal and entertainment at the wedding, as much as for a gift going forward at the wedding. This young woman has really had the rug pulled out from under her. Let her keep her gifts, she has a lot of things to work through.
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:

Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers