Section: grief-and-loss, abuse, manners
Dear Ann Landers,
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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
Reader Comment
In the event of overhearing a domestic dispute and cries for help, I would strongly discourage anyone from physically going outside of their home, or to another's home, to try to intervene. Instead, dial 9-1-1 and let the authorities handle what they are trained to do. Keep in mind that some cries for help are actually miscreants who are trying to lure a person outside to rob, rape or kill them. If the violent situation is real, an unprepared third party getting in the middle of it could escalate it rather than diffuse it. The "good Samaritan" could also face legal battles if the would-be abuser and victim decide to change their story and blame the third party as being the instigator and aggressor. That's the sad reality of today's world. Nothing is simple.
K's Comment
I have great empathy for the writer of the letter and it is awesome that she has gotten away from her abuser. She should know that yes, it would have been a good thing if the neighbors called the police but there may be a back story to this. How many times has this happened and the neighbors did call the police. How many times did the woman go back to the home? How often did the neighbors become targets of the abuser and often the abused for trying to help if only by calling 911? In a perfect world, a neighbor could call 911 and save the person being abused and that would resolve the issue, sadly we don't live in a perfect world.
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