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Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am 34 years old and have three children under the age of 10. Two years ago, my husband left us and started living with his mother. He also has a girlfriend but has not made any effort to file for divorce. Here's my question: How long should I go on trying to salvage my marriage? It's hard when only one of us is working at it. Should I just get on with my life without him, or keep praying he will have a change of heart and do the right thing? At what point do I just give up? -- Hurting in Mantua, N.J.

Dear N.J.,
He's been living with his mother for two years? And he has a girlfriend? It's over, dear. Call your lawyer.



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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

Reader Comment
Dear Hurting: He's been living with his mother for 2 years

Reader Comment
He's living with the person he depends on. Get to a lawyer NOW! This worthless scum bag has turned his back on you and your children. Make sure you file for all the assistance you need from him. Those three kids are his also (even though, as usual the 'father' didn't do much to bring them into the world).Go get him. His mother is partly to blame as she is shielding him from you and the kids-the nasty old hag!

Andy's Comment
It's over, dear. Get a lawyer now.
 
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Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, My x-girlfriend who lived with my son and I for 16 years died of cancer. Prior before we knew she had cancer-she moved out because of an addiction problem. We did stay very close before she died. Her x-husband an attorney took over her finances and the burial arrangements. I being financially set was okay with that, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers