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Section: children, mental-health, work
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
School sports have taken over the lives of my children, and I'm tired of it. Am I the only one? Some nights, my kids don't have the time or energy to study. They just fall into bed exhausted. There is no time for doing home chores or taking on after-school jobs, which some kids need. We hear a great deal about having well-rounded students. Sports participation interferes with that. If the kids want to play soccer and be in the band, too, forget it! The coaches won't allow it. No excuse is acceptable for missing a practice or a game -- including weddings or funerals, let alone eating supper with the family. Let's face it. This is supposed to be fun for the kids. Most of them will never play professionally or get a college athletic scholarship. I propose parents unite and refuse to let the kids practice or play during school holidays or on weekends. If parents would make a united stand and say, "Only Monday through Friday, and two weeks before school starts, and one week after school lets out for the summer," the coaches would have no choice but to schedule during that timeframe. Too many parents and coaches have forgotten that the real purpose of school is to get an education. -- Sports Parents in La Crosse, Wis.

Dear Sports Parents,
You've written a very tough letter, but all your complaints are valid. I wonder if there are other parents who feel as you do. I also wonder if other coaches around the country are as demanding as the ones in La Crosse, Wis.

Tags: parenting - sports


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A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!

anon's Comment
My nephew got benched from two basketball games because he missed one practice to spend an evening with his grandmother in the hospital (four hours from his town )before she died.

Reader Comment
Also, no games/practices over school breaks (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.). Some parents are worse than the coaches-trying to live their lives through their kids.

Reader Comment
Wow! I had a couple of sons involved in soccer, but it rarely, if ever, involved practice through dinner time! I agree that parents need to unite and meet with the sports coaches to set some boundaries. When practices and games prohibit kids from doing homework, or having other interests, priorities are out of order and something needs to change. Parents, UNITE!

DY's Comment
Dear, Sports Parents I fully understand the current concerns about the education of parents who are raising young children. However, sports activities are important for children. Sports activities guide children through various experiences. It helps you learn the importance, perseverance, effort, and diligence of cooperation with other friends. Of course, as mentioned above, problems can arise if the energy to put into sports is much more excessive than the energy to put into education. However, you seem to approach children's activities and experiences with a very consumer mindset. It's not right to think of it as one reason to ban exercise on weekends if your kids don't run as a professional player or get a physical education scholarship. Looking at the paper "The Impact of Culture and Sports Activities on Children" by the Korea Sports Psychology Association, it is said that after doing sports activities, self-realization, immersion, autonomy, and relationship improved further. So what I want to say is that excessive sports activities seem negative in children's education, but it's still a good time. Now is the time when experience and human relationships are more important than education. If you are still worried, why don't you decide every other week or several times a month instead of eliminating school sports activities? Provide opportunities for children to explore their physical activities and dreams.
 
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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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