Dear Ann Landers, My wife and I recently visited her 86-year-old mother in Oklahoma. While we were there, she asked us to look at her telephone bill, which showed lease charges for four phones at $4.45 each. She had been paying these lease charges for over 23 years. We discovered that one of the phones had been taken out of her house 20 years before, and two phones had not been used for over 15 years.
I wonder how many senior citizens are unknowingly paying lease charges for old phones that are no longer in use. Please alert your readers to check if they are being billed for "Consumer Lease Services" and see which instruments the bill applies to. Incorrect charges can be removed by calling the telephone company customer service department. It's worth looking into. -- Bob in Grand Prairie, Texas
Dear Grand, Most people today buy their phones. However, it wouldn't hurt for my readers to take a good, hard look at their next phone bill and see if there are any incorrect leasing charges. Again, I love the way you readers look out for one another.
Dear Ann Landers, I have a relative who has diabetes and must take insulin shots after every meal. He makes quite a production of it, testing his blood sugar level, preparing the injection and injecting himself at the table. This procedure is done in the homes of family members and friends and in restaurants. I can handle it, but several others cannot. The sight of blood and injections ruins the enjoyment of the meals for those with queasy stomachs.
This person is extremely sensitive, and his feelings would be crushed if he knew he was offending people. Your response in the paper would help make others who are afflicted with diabetes aware of how this sort of thing affects some of us. No name or city, please. -- Mrs. Anonymous
Dear Mrs. Anon., Your point is well taken. A person who would inject himself at the dinner table in the presence of others exhibits gross insensitivity and very poor manners.
Dear Ann Landers, My husband and I retired to Florida a few years ago, leaving our three grown children back in our hometown up north. We are having a wonderful life, and my husband is as happy as a lark. I also should be happy. Everything here is great. The weather is beautiful. We are enjoying good health and have met some lovely people. We both do some volunteer work, so please do not assume we are selfishly wasting our lives.
The problem is our children. They aren't kids anymore, but each of them is in trouble. One daughter is married and "no longer in love." She has a boyfriend. Another daughter is living with a younger man I know she'll have to support for the rest of her life because he doesn't believe in work. She also has his two teenagers living with them. Another daughter is going through a miserable divorce. She has a son who surely will end up in jail again if he isn't there already.
I should be having the time of my life, but there is such a sadness around me that I fight it daily. I don't know what to do, Ann. All these troubled adult children are getting the best of me. I try to hide my anxiety from my husband because I don't want him to be as miserable as I am. What should I do, Ann? Please throw me a lifeline. -- Heavy-Hearted in the Palms
Dear H.H., First, you should discuss with your husband what is going on with the children. They're his, too, you know. It will help to have his support. Next, you need some counseling to help you cope with your anxiety. (An antidepressant could be a great help.)
Your counselor will explain that you are not responsible for the lives of your adult children.
It is time to let them untangle their own messes and grow up. It may be difficult not to become involved in their problems, but it could be the biggest favor you ever will do for them. In the meantime, you deserve to enjoy your retirement years. Don't let your children spoil them for you.
Dear Ann Landers, I need help -- fast. I have a very dear friend who will be flying to California next month to visit her family. She has never flown before. This woman is large -- I am talking nearly 300 pounds at least.
"Ruth" is not going to fit into a coach seat, and I am not sure she could fit into a first-class seat either. I don't want her to be embarrassed when she boards the plane. You know how cruel people can be about those who are overweight.
How should I approach her? Should I ask if she is flying first class? I don't want her to be humiliated, Ann. Thanks for your help. -- A Heavy Problem in the Motor City
Dear H.P. in M.C., Call the airline, and explain the situation. Ask if they would advise Ruth to buy a first-class seat or two coach seats. Then, tell Ruth you have heard that airline coach seats are getting smaller, and let her know what the airline recommended. It is important that she call ahead so there will be no surprises at the airport. You are a thoughtful friend to be concerned. Bless you.
Dear Ann Landers, A few months ago, when I was recovering from surgery and in bed suffering post-operative pain, my sister, "Ellen," came by to see me. My husband, "Dan," who is a physician, happened to enter the room and saw Ellen take prescription drugs out of the box beside my bed and slip them into her pocket. Ellen looked up and realized he had seen her, even though I didn't notice a thing.
Dan didn't want to alarm me, so he said nothing. He waited until Ellen went home and then telephoned her. She didn't say much, except that she had a very bad headache and needed medication. Ellen didn't know Dan had counted the capsules before her visit and knew she was lying about how many she had stolen. Later that evening, she phoned to apologize to Dan, but he wasn't home, so she talked to me and confessed that she had taken my pills.
Ellen is an alcoholic and has been sober for approximately eight years. We are concerned about her health and safety. We also worry about her tendency to steal prescription drugs (as well as other things) from our home and possibly the homes of her friends. We are afraid she might start shoplifting and end up in jail.
Dan and I don't feel comfortable discussing this with Ellen's husband, and she has always been very defensive, so it isn't easy to talk to her about personal problems. Please give us some guidance. -- Worried Sick in Newport Beach, Calif.
Dear Worried in Newport, Your sister needs help. Ellen has traded one addiction for another. She is off the booze but is now hooked on pills.
It is essential that you inform her husband about this latest occurrence. His wife needs professional help, and he must see that she gets it at once.
By withholding this information, you are doing your sister a grave injustice.
