Dear Ann Landers,
f you say I am super-critical and overly-sensitive, I will take your word for it. My husband and I are having a sharp disagreement over something and you are going to settle it. Last night we were invited to a dinner party. The hostess is a good person. She would give anyone the shirt off her back. But she manages to turn every conversation into what you call an organ recital. We are all sick to death of listening to her physical complaints. I call her Mrs. Kvetch. (Not to her face, of course.) Mrs. Kvetch had an operation for gallstones six weeks ago. The entire cocktail hour was devoted to the details of her operation-down to the last stitch. When she brought out the bottle of her gallstones and passed it around, I was appalled. Plus viewing the stones we had to listen to her doc-tor's appraisal. . . The largest he had ever seen. Needless to say, I had no appetite for dinner. (My husband had two help-ings of everything.) What do you think about a hostess who would monopo-lize the entire cocktail hour with talk of her operation and display her gall-stones at a dinner party? still not hungry

dear s.N.H.,
I'm with you. In fact, I think I'll have an apple for lunch. Thanks for writing. Laughter and Wet Pants Wet pants is no laughing matter, especially if you are an adult woman out for an evening, socializing with friends. This is a problem I hear about fre-quently, and almost everyone who writes thinks she is the only one who has it. (I say "she" because I don't believe I have ever had an inquiry about this problem from a male.) According to several urologists with whom I consulted, "stress incon-tinence" (a fancy term for "can't hold it") must first be differentiated from a constant wetness or dribbling, which has more serious implications. A physi-cian's evaluation should be sought if there is any question. Stress incontinence is common in women as a result of childbirth. It is caused by a general weakening and sagging of the muscle slings which nor-mally hold the bladder, rectum, vaginal walls and uterus up in place. The control muscles are simply not strong enough to hold back against the sudden surge of pressure caused by sneezing, coughing, laughing, jumping or coming down from a high step. Two things can help. First-more frequent emptying of the bladder. (Some people, especially teenage girls, are "too busy" to go.) Women who have a tendency to wet their pants when they laugh hard should urinate be-fore they leave the house and as soon after as possible when they get to where they are going. The second thing: Exercise the muscles and strengthen them. Here are the instructions: When you begin to urinate, make yourself stop, then start again. Then stop, and start again-all the while exercising the muscles that control the starting and stopping mechanism. According to my consultants, this is exclusively a female problem. Any male who wets his pants during the day needs a thorough checkup by a urologist to determine the cause. credit: Russell Roth, M.D., Attending Urologist, St. Vincent Health Center, Erie, Pennsylvania. HOLD IT . . . BUT SHE CAN'T WHEN SHE LAUGHS