Dear Ann Landers,
Dentists are, in my opinion, the most backward of all professionals. If Benjamin Franklin had not invented false teeth, people would be walking around toothless today. I have been reading articles on tooth transplants since I was a child. Dentists have been experimenting for twenty years. I have written to the authors of the articles to learn which dentists perform the procedure. The replies were vague. I never did find a dentist who could transplant a tooth. All they know is drilling and pulling and dentures and partial plates. They are too busy raking in the money to learn any-thing new. Today when kidneys, liver, human hair, and even the heart can be transplanted, is it too much to ask that the dentists get busy and join the twentieth century?-Exposed Nerve

Dear Nerve,
There are hundreds of dentists who transplant teeth. Where have you been looking? Transplanting teeth began in the eighteenth century. Your reference to Benjamin Franklin is interesting. The agony produced by his handmade teeth (fashioned out of hippopotamus ivory, wood, gold plate, rivets, screws, human incisor teeth, and steel springs) started dentists experimenting with tooth transplants. Tooth donors, principally poor people, were secured through newspaper ads. A New York paper in 1772 carried the following notice: "Teeth-any person willing to dispose of his front teeth apply to Number 28 Maiden Lane. A generous price will be given. N.B.: Four guineas [about $40 in today's currency] will be paid for every tooth." The practice of transplantation was ultimately abandoned for several reasons. First, it failed to meet the needs of the masses. Second, many diseases were transmitted from donor to recipient (most notably syphilis). Third, the medical world learned of the rejection phenome-non. After a few months, transplanted teeth loosened and fell out. A hundred years later, however, dentists began experi-menting once again with transplanted teeth, and the tech-niques have been vastly improved. Today, a transplanted tooth will last four or five years. The knowledge gained by dentists in their transplant procedures has helped lay the theoretical groundwork which made possible the kidney and fiver transplants, and now the heart. Now, aren't you ashamed? FIVE M.Y.O.B. If all the world's meddlers were laid end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable. And so would everyone else. It is difficult to evaluate the destruction wrought by "well- meaning" relatives, "deeply concerned" friends, and "inter-ested" neighbors who feel it is their "duty" to "say something." Over the years I have advised so many people to "mind your own business" that the phrase became tiresome even to my ears, so I reduced it to M.Y.O.B. Prying is an extremely popular sport. It is free, provides diversion, and can be easily disguised as "friendly concern." I never cease to marvel at the number of reasonably intelligent people who will relate the most intimate details of their personal lives merely because some clod has the gall to ask questions which are clearly none of his business. A bewildered bride once asked what to do about an obnox-ious aunt who, whenever they met, patted her stomach solici-tously and inquired, "Anything in the oven yet?" I told the bewildered bride to respond in this manner: "I'll forgive you for asking that question if you'll forgive me for not answering it." The best rule to follow is this: Was I asked for my opinion? Is it really wanted? Does the situation affect my life in an important way? If you get a No answer to any of these questions, thenM.Y.O.B. It demands maturity and discipline to remain silent when someone we care about seems headed down a collision course. Particularly is it difficult when we feel it might be possible to save a worthy person from heartbreak and disaster. But advice must be sought, it must not be inflicted. And this is the crucial hook on which your decision should hang. A great deal is being said and written these days about human rights. The Constitution guarantees all United States citizens freedom of speech, freedom of worship, and the right to peaceful assembly to petition the government for redress of grievances. One of the most sacred rights of every human being, however, is not mentioned in the Constitution, or anywhere else, for that matter. It is the right to be left alone.