Dear Ann Landers,
Our daughter, who is away at college, is suffering from depression. She is on medication and seeing a therapist at school. "Maya's" first semester was a nightmare, partly because her father refused to let her come home to visit, even though the college is only three hours away. I finally overruled him and insisted she drive home for the weekend. I could see how debilitating the depression was. If Maya cannot survive another semester and wants to come home, I don't know what my husband will do. We have been married for 20 years, and he is getting harder and harder to deal with. I'm tired of arguing with him, but I have to stand up for my daughter. Not every child can be sent away from home at age 18 and cope. If anything should happen to her, I would never forgive myself. Should I bring Maya home and tell her to go to school in town, or do you think my husband is right in saying she should tough it out? -- Virginia Beach Mom

Dear Virginia Beach,
If your daughter is on medication, she must have a doctor who prescribed it. Consult with him about whether Maya should tough it out. She sounds emotionally fragile, and this could push her over the edge.

Dear Ann Landers,
Too many parents have no idea what goes on all day in school, and yet, this is a large part of their child's life. I have heard endless complaints about teachers, homework and administrative problems from parents who will not take the time to get involved and find out how they can help. I have a child in grade school, and I would like to offer these suggestions to parents who want to help their children do well in school: 1. Volunteer whenever you can. You'll get a good feel for the place and for the teachers and the support staff. 2. Go to orientations, open houses and conferences. Meet the teachers. Learn their teaching plans. Get the schedule for midterms and final exams. Find out how your child is doing. 3. Join the PTA, and keep current with what is happening in your school and with the students. 4. Review the textbooks your child uses and the work he or she brings home. 5. Get to know your child's school friends. Meet their parents. 6. Ask about your school's academic test records. Ask the teachers and administration to answer any questions you have. Parents have the right to know. 7. Volunteer for advisory committees and board memberships so you can have a say in the policy of your child's school. Please print this letter, Ann, so other parents can help their children. -- Louisville Mom on the Inside Track

Dear Louisville Mom,
You have made some excellent suggestions, and I am sure they are workable. The bottom line is: GET INVOLVED. VOLUNTEER. Do it for your children. Do it for yourself. This is a win-win situation. Today's column may be one of the most valuable you have ever read. Pay attention!

Dear Ann Landers,
School sports have taken over the lives of my children, and I'm tired of it. Am I the only one? Some nights, my kids don't have the time or energy to study. They just fall into bed exhausted. There is no time for doing home chores or taking on after-school jobs, which some kids need. We hear a great deal about having well-rounded students. Sports participation interferes with that. If the kids want to play soccer and be in the band, too, forget it! The coaches won't allow it. No excuse is acceptable for missing a practice or a game -- including weddings or funerals, let alone eating supper with the family. Let's face it. This is supposed to be fun for the kids. Most of them will never play professionally or get a college athletic scholarship. I propose parents unite and refuse to let the kids practice or play during school holidays or on weekends. If parents would make a united stand and say, "Only Monday through Friday, and two weeks before school starts, and one week after school lets out for the summer," the coaches would have no choice but to schedule during that timeframe. Too many parents and coaches have forgotten that the real purpose of school is to get an education. -- Sports Parents in La Crosse, Wis.

Dear Sports Parents,
You've written a very tough letter, but all your complaints are valid. I wonder if there are other parents who feel as you do. I also wonder if other coaches around the country are as demanding as the ones in La Crosse, Wis.