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Dear Margo,
I plan to be married in a few months and need some advice. My fiancé and I have been together for almost seven years and have all the appliances and accessories we need to furnish our new apartment. We could use some furniture, however, and are now in the process of looking at chairs, tables and so on. Several friends and relatives have let us know they want to give us a shower or a party. We really don't need presents. We would be thrilled if they would give us money so we could buy furniture. Is there a polite way we could ask for money instead of a shower or wedding gift without looking tacky? - Broke in Mississippi

Yesterday's Response:

Dear Broke,
If you have a close relationship with aunts, uncles or cousins and they ask, "What do you NEED?" it would be OK to say, "We have everything we need except furniture and are now looking at several pieces. If you'd like to give us a check to help furnish our apartment, that would be wonderful." I know of no polite way to ask friends or relatives who want to give you a shower or wedding gift to give you money instead.

Today's Response:

Dear Broke,
Happily for you, and many other couples starting out, there are now registries for gifts of cash for honeymoons, furniture, for whatever you want. Giving cash has been traditional in many foreign countries for a long time. It is comparatively new in this country. When people ask what you'd like, or where you're registered, just cough up the name of the registry you've chosen.
- Margo

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
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