Dear Ann Landers,
am absolutely heartbroken. My 16-year-old daughter has just been diagnosed with a very severe case of herpes. I am beside myself and totally shocked. "Melissa" has had plenty of sex education, and we have had many talks about safe sex and condoms. When I asked her how this happened, she said she had no idea. Of course, Melissa would not tell me who she got it from. I did insist, however, that she inform the boy at once that he has a contagious dis-ease. I hope and pray she knows who he is and that he wasn't one of several. Please give me some advice as to how to deal with this nightmare. Melissa does not want to share this information with a therapist, and I don't dare tell my husband. He would hit the roof. I am sick inside, not only for my daughter but because of the ramifi-cations of this affliction, which she will have for the rest of her life. I am also upset with myself because there must have been something I failed to get across to her. I am ... -Worried Sick and Feeling Guilty in Pasadena

Dear Pasadena,
Cancel the guilt trip, Mother. This is not your fault. Herpes is not a death sentence. Thousands of people who have it live normal lives. There are now highly effective drugs that can keep this infection well under control. Melissa needs to be educated. I recently printed the address of an or-ganization that your daughter should know about. Here it is again: For free, confidential information about herpes, call the American Social Health Association/Herpes Resource Center at (800) 230-6039.