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Dear Ann Landers,
ur schnauzer speaks Italian. He says, "Mama Mia," "Grazie" and "Bella Signora." When he hears "Arrivederci Roma" on the radio, he puts his head between his paws and cries. The kids have tried to teach the dog Latin, but so far no luck. We will let you know if they succeed. Print this letter if you want to, but please don't give away the name of our city. Many local people know about The Besi if Ann Laniers ! 137 our dog, but we don't want our home to become a tourist attraction. Thanks.

Dear Ann,
We've all heard jokes about parrots that yelled out dirty words when the minister came to call. But have you ever heard of a dog that did the same thing? Well, my husband has a warped sense of humor, and he taught our boxer some terrible words. After three em-barrassing experiences with company, I gave the dog to my sister, who lives on a farm. Now I can relax for the first time in two years. -Mrs. M.M. There's always a letter from a comedian. Here's an example:



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers