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Section: religion
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Years ago Ann Landers wrote a great column that went something like this: you don't have to like Jewish people but, if you want to boycott them, you won't feel very good. She went on to list a number of accomplishments that Jewish doctors, scientists, etc. have given to mankind. It was a great piece and I wish I still had a copy of it. It would be very timely for what's going on in this country today. I hope you can find it for me, please. Thank you! - A Faithful Reader

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
A social craze called Mixed Mates has hit town. The invitation we received yesterday read: "You are cordially invited for cocktails and dinner at Bill and Mary X's home on January 25. But you can't come with your husband. He must escort someone else's wife. You will not know the identity of your escort until he arrives. Your husband will soon receive a phone call assigning a date. But it must be kept a deep, dark secret. Of course you will be taken home by the man who brought you. R.S.V.P." I don't want to be a wet firecracker, but the whole idea offends me. My husband says it's novel and should be fun. What would we tell our teen-age children about such a party? Help, please.--Fraidy Cat

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: work, manners
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am sure you get many letters complaining about rude, crude and abusive sales clerks. I would like to say a word in their defense. My job is to evaluate clerks. I have a long list of people I observe, interact with and rate according to 30 factors. They have no idea who I am. I've been doing this work for five years and have visited more than 400 "installations," from small convenience stores to large department stores. I have demanded services to which I was not entitled and asked for "extras" the stores were under no obligation to provide. I have been deliberately antagonistic and sometimes downright nasty. I once tried to return an item that had been purchased at another store. The clerk took it and gave me a full credit. I have yet to find a sales clerk who was crude, rude or unpleasant. When you get letters complaining about sales clerks, I would bet they are from people who have tried to return merchandise that has obviously been used or for which they have no receipt, or the customer insisted the clerk take a credit card that had expired or been maxed out. Please don't print my name or city, Ann. It is essential that my identity not be revealed. Sign me -- Mystery Shopper in the USA

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: manners, children, relationships
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Our son and his wife adopted a beautiful little girl when she was 7 days old. The child will soon be 4 years of age, and they have not told her that she is adopted. We believe this is not right but hesitate to interfere. Any suggestions? -- Concerned Mom and Dad

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section:
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Yesterday, I attended the funeral of a 22-year-old man who left behind a young daughter who will never know her father. He died because he tried to get a cheap high with laughing gas (nitrous oxide). He was driving at the time. When they pulled him out of the wreck, he still had the balloon in his mouth. That's going to be a great story to tell his daughter when she grows up. At the time this man was dying, his two younger brothers were also out getting high. Their older brother had told them how much fun it was to inhale nitrous oxide. As if the parents don't have enough grief in their lives. Please tell your readers to get high on life instead of killing themselves with cheap thrills. -- S.B. in Crawfordville, Fla.

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: relationships, money, manners
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 42-year-old man, married with two children. Things are just fine within my immediate family. The problem is my mother. She wants me to buy her an automobile. Not just any automobile. She wants one exactly like mine. Mother has a comfortable lifestyle and can certainly afford to buy any car she wants on her own. However, for some reason, she thinks I should give her one. And, of course, she doesn't want anything as moderately priced as the neighbor's car. She feels entitled to a car just like mine -- the expensive variety. No other car will do. Ann, I have worked hard for everything I have, including my car. I paid my own way through college and am reasonably successful in business. I do not feel that I should deprive my children of the money we are saving for their college education in order to satisfy my mother's expensive taste in automobiles. I have told her that money is tight at the moment, but this hasn't stopped her from nagging. My relationship with my mother has never been terribly close, and now, her pressuring me to buy a car is straining it to the breaking point. I don't want to destroy the good will that I have slowly and carefully built up over the years. I need some advice. -- No Name, No City, Please

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments
Tags: parents

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Section: manners, relationships, dating, family
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
Two years ago, I met a wonderful man, and we have been dating ever since. When "Bob" bought a home last May, he asked me to move in with him. I knew his mother would be moving in, too, but I thought it would be temporary. Well, it's been eight months, and she is still here. I cook, clean and do laundry, but she does everything over again, saying I didn't do a good job. She has peculiar eating habits, which makes it difficult for me to prepare a tasty meal that everyone can enjoy. When I try to cook something she can eat, she claims my cooking "doesn't taste right" and adds other ingredients or dilutes it with water. She also tells me I shouldn't use a mop on the floor because "it's not clean unless you get down on your hands and knees and scrub." I've told Bob several times that I am ready to pack up and leave, but he cries and begs me to stay. I honestly don't want to go, Ann. I really love the guy. Can you help me? -- Exasperated in Salem, Ore.

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: general-health, manners
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
My wife has cancer. We have been battling it for six years, and short of a major miracle, she will die from it. I am not asking for sympathy. We are living our lives as fully as we can, and we are not shy about discussing all aspects of this battle when it comes to our children, friends and family. Here is my problem: I find it painful when friends say to her, "Get well soon." It hurts to hear these words. They sound so phony, as if she had a broken leg. My wife will NOT get well, soon or ever, for that matter, and everybody knows it, including her. I haven't said anything about this because I know these people mean well, but it makes me want to scream every time I hear it. These friends are important to us, and I don't want to offend them by telling them to stop saying that, so I'm hoping if you print my letter, it will help. - Granada Hills, Calif.

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: sexuality, gender, marriage, mental-health
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I want to respond to your column on cross-dressing. My dear husband of many years passed away suddenly. We had a good marriage, and I loved him with all my heart. After he died, I cleaned out his workshop, which was piled to the ceiling with projects he hadn't finished and stuff he had accumulated over the years. I seldom went in there unless I needed a hammer or screwdriver. While cleaning, I found evidence that my devoted, loving husband was a secret transvestite. There were dozens of boxes of women's clothing, underwear, shoes and wigs, and magazines about cross-dressing in the closet and on the shelves. Apparently, he had been engaging in this activity for a very long time. Our sex life was good, and I thought our marriage was solid, but now, I'm depressed and upset because I feel I was married to a man I didn't really know. It also makes me wonder if he had any gay friends and if he went beyond just dressing up. All the precious memories I had of my husband have been besmirched. I cannot talk to anyone about this because he was prominent in our community, and I don't want to tarnish his good name. I am just thankful our son and daughter didn't insist on helping me clean out their father's things. I refuse to let anyone give me a hand with his closets and bureau drawers because I would rather die than have it known he had this weird side to him. Please, Ann, warn your readers who have secrets like my husband to come clean with their families or make sure they don't leave any evidence behind. I am -- Devastated in Texas

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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Section: relationships, manners
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
I am a 20-year-old college student living with three other roommates the same age. One of our roommates, "Gloria," is causing a lot of problems for the rest of us. She is dating a married man. This isn't the first time she has been involved in an inappropriate relationship, but I didn't know about her entanglements until after we moved in together. The man Gloria is dating now is a lot older and has kids in their late 20s. He doesn't hide his cheating. In fact, he wants us to invite him over to "hang out." Gloria bragged about their sexual relationship, and his wife found out about it. She has been calling our house to see if her husband is here. Now, Gloria demands that we not answer the phone or, if we do, that we lie to the man's wife. We have lost all respect for Gloria and would like to kick her out, but none of us has the guts. I feel horrible for this man's family and do not want to be caught in a confrontation with his wife. Please give us some suggestions on how to handle this situation. -- Beside Ourselves in Oregon

November 30, 2014 - 25 comments

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