Dear Ann Landers,
The father of my best friend from the 80s and 90s has just died. I was told by his wife about twenty years ago that they did not want to be friends any longer so I have not spoken with him, or her, for twenty years. I guess I could have contacted my friend behind his wife's back, but I didn't, and he has never made an effort to contact me. I would like to send him my condolences and to tell him I know how he feels, as I recently lost my own fatheras well. Should I just let it go or should I contact him to offer my sympathy? - Gary

Dear Gary,
It is never wrong to do the kind thing. By all means write your old friend a note of condolence. He might not respond, but then again, he might. Because you do not seem to know the reason for the fractured friendship, a repair may or may not be possible. In any case, you will have done the right thing and satisfied your own desire to offer solace to your old friend.
- Margo