Dear Ann Landers,
Many years ago I attended a conven-tion where the ladies all seemed to be wearing silk dresses with floral patterns and big hats. My aunt was being installed as president. This was back in the days when falsies were inflat-able, like balloons. Well, the outgoing president made a gushy speech and closed with: It is an honor for me to present you with this corsage as a token of our esteem and affection. She then proceeded to pin the corsage on Auntie. Bang! went the balloon, and half of her dimensions changed right there in front of two thousand people. Naturally this was the highlight of the convention. People still laugh about it fifteen years later.-No Town For Gosh Sakes

Dear No Town,
If you ever hear of a contest for the most embarrassing moment, Auntie has the first prize in her pocket. (And I hope it's not a medal!)