Dear Ann Landers,
A good friend of many years' standing came with her husband to spend a couple of nights in our home. Although The II e s i ii f \w L a m ii e ii s I 3 Ii 3 she has always been terribly vain about her looks, I am very fond of her and value her friendship. In the middle of the night, after we all returned from a party, I heard her get up and go to the bathroom. I soon realized that she was ill and throwing up. I asked her if she needed any help. She said, No, I feel much better now. It must have been the fish. The next morning she did not join us at the breakfast table. Her husband brought her a cup of tea in the bedroom. They left around noon-she didn't want any lunch-and she kept a handkerchief over her mouth when she mumbled goodbyes and said something about having broken a tooth. Immediately after they left, my husband said there was a problem with the toilet in the guest room. It kept overflowing, and a few days later we decided to call a plumber. He informed us that it was a bigger job than he thought and he would have to remove the toilet from the floor. Lo and behold, he found the problem: a set of false teeth. My husband and I are undecided as to what we should do. I think we should send our guest her teeth and tell her where we found them. Do you agree, Ann Landers? -Incredulous in Stockton

Dear Stockton,
If you value her friendship, resist the temptation. You didn't say where the woman lives, but this column appears al-most everywhere, and if she reads it she'll know you've got her number.