Dear Ann Landers,
Since everyone seems to toss their pet peeves and pri-vate annoyances in your direction I think I will, too. Even if you can't help me, it will make me feel better. Whenever my husband introduces me to anyone, or refers to me in conver-sation, he calls me the wife. It's never MY wife it's always THE wife. Doesn't that sound cold and impersonal? The word MY is definitely in his vocabulary. He uses it in connection with his secretary, his office, his newspaper, his dog and sometimes his son. Why does my husband do this to me? Is there a solution? arms length LIFE PARTNER dear partner: Speech patterns can mean something or nothing. Often they are established out of habit. If it bugs you to be called the wife, speak up, first privately, then pub-licly. But in a nice way. Example: Please,

dear I'm YOUR wife. Have you forgotten so soon?” dear ann,
I just read the letter from the lady who complained because her husband always introduced her as "THE wife" instead of "My wife." Some people don't know when they're well off. My husband never introduces me at all, just lets me stand there like a cigar-store Indian. Print this, please. He reads you daily, mrs. invisible dear MRS.: Here it is. Let me know if it helped. 'incumbent wife'