Dear Ann Landers,
A good friend of many years' standing came with her husband to spend a couple of nights in our home. Although she has always been terribly vain about her looks, I am very fond of her and value her friendship. In the middle of the night, after we all returned from a party, I heard her get up and go to the bathroom. I soon realized that she was ill and throwing up. I asked her if she needed any help. She said, No, I feel much better now. It must have been the fish. The next morning she did not join us at the breakfast table. Her husband brought her a cup of tea in the bedroom. They left around noon-she didn't want any lunch-and she kept a handkerchief over her mouth when she mumbled goodbyes and said something about having broken a tooth. Immediately after they left, my husband said there was a problem with the toilet in the guest room. It kept overflowing, and a few days later we decided to call a plumber. He informed us that it was a bigger job than he thought and he would have to remove the toilet from the floor. Lo and behold, he found the problem: a set of false teeth. My husband and I are undecided as to what we should do. I think we should send our guest her teeth and tell her where we found them. Do you agree, Ann Landers?

Dear Stockton,
If you value her friendship, resist the temptation. You didn't say where the woman lives, but this column appears al-most everywhere, and if she reads it she'll know you've got her number.