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Dear Ann Landers,
ou said in a recent column an en-lightened husband can be a great help to his wife during the menopause. Well, I'd like to add that an enlightened woman can also help herself-if she wants to. My wife's mother is a classic example of a woman who has used the menopause for all it's worth. She is sixty-eight and has kept her husband hovering over her with a fan in one hand and a sweater in the other for twenty years. Whenever she insults a friend (which is often) she says, "The change has made me awfully nervous." My own mother takes her pills quietly, goes to the doctor for shots, and you never hear a word out of her. My wife has 48 already promised me that when this happens to her she is going to keep her mouth shut, and I am-Grateful.

Dear Grateful,
A woman of sixty-eight who has been complaining about the menopause for twenty years is over-doing it. She should have rung down the final curtain on that performance long ago. It's always pathetic when people must use physical discomfort (real or imaginary) as an attention- getting device. This in itself is a sickness, so don't be too hard on the old girl.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat."
-Ann Landers