Dear Ann Landers,
e are middle-income parents faced with a problem that is plaguing many other parents. For want of a better term, I'll call it the problem of the "returnees." "Returnees" are young adult children we thought were happily mar-ried, permanently settled in their homes or apartments and able to manage financially without any help from us. Now, at long last, we parents can finally (hallelujah!) live our own lives. Right? Wrong. The adult child arrives, suitcases in hand, carry-ing a pet (or a child) and announces that he/she is getting a divorce and returning home. Ann, these days, a great many adult children run back to Mama and Papa and are sure that "the folks" will support them as they did before they married. Many of us are just barely making ends meet, and it's a real struggle. How can parents protect themselves from children who return to the nest and expect to be treated as children when they are in their 30s and 40s? -S.G., Uniondale, N.Y.

Dear S.G.,
How can parents protect themselves against adult chil-dren who return home after a failed marriage? There is no way, except to just say, "No." This seems awfully hard-hearted, however, and it seems to me that temporary shelter is not too much to ask, especially if there was bru-tality or abuse. Parents do their children no favor, however, if they per-mit ongoing freeloading. Since every situation is different, there is no pat solution. Each case must be evaluated on the basis of its own merit.