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Dear Ann Landers,
his is in response to the parents whose child is incurably ill. They wanted to know how to make her final days happy ones. Forgive me for being critical, but I'm afraid they are missing the boat. Indulging her with a "dream trip" or other luxuries will not help prepare anyone for the inevitable. It would only add to the tension and drain the energy of the entire family. Since this lovely young girl will not be able to make contributions in future years, you must now help make her brief life as purposeful and productive as possible. Use the money you would have spent on indulgences, and try to raise additional funds to build something that will provide health, ed-ucation or recreation for deprived children. Perhaps an aquarium in a ghetto school, a playground for handi-capped youngsters, a nature walk, an immunization clinic or a sports center. Get your daughter's friends and classmates involved in the proj-ect she finds most appealing. Let everyone see that this is her gift to other children. It will give her a great deal of pleasure and might even lengthen her life. As for help, perhaps the local Rotary, a church youth group or an-other organization will join in the project and make it larger and more enduring that something you put together on your own. And please consider arranging in advance for organ donation. It's a marvelous way for your child's beauty to live on. In short, help her be part of a lasting memorial that will bring other children a more fulfilling life. Purposeful living is the best preparation for dying. -A Caring Rotarian

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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat."
-Ann Landers