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Dear Ann Landers,
The older folks have Medicare and Social Security, which are both nearly bankrupt. It may not last long enough to help them and they worry about it. These programs were meant to keep the elderly from living on dog food and dying in squalor due to poverty and lack of medical care. My wife and I can afford medical insurance by having a high de-ductible. We insure only against catastrophic need, not the sniffles. For retirement, we save and invest those savings carefully. Although we make only about $40,000 a year between the two of us, we own our home and manage to put money in the bank. Our secret is plain, old Yankee thrift-don't buy it unless you need it, don't buy it new if used will do, and don't buy it at all if you have to use credit. The days of lifelong employment are over. I have been laid off three times and my wife twice because of downsizing. Each time, we tight-ened our belts, hit the pavement and were working again within a month. We have no special skills or education (I did not finish high school), but we do have the old-fashioned "can-do" attitude that a job-any job-is better than none. We learned these lessons by heeding the advice of the older genera-tion. My advice to others our age is to stop whining and listen to what those who have been there have to say. It could be valuable and it might even give you some wonderful stories for your grandkids. -Open Ears in California

Dear California,
You and your wife have a great attitude, and your warning about buying on credit shows maturity and wisdom. Thanks for writing. Thf IIfsi iif Ann Laniifiis / 341 Why I Fired My Secretary I woke up early feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, "I'm another year older," but decided not to dwell on it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, "Happy birthday, dear." All smiles, I went into breakfast, and there sat my wife reading the newspaper as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee and thought, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes. They will sing 'Happy Birthday' and have a nice gift for me." There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally the kids came running into the kitchen yelling, "Give me a slice of toast! I'm late! Where is my coat? I'm going to miss the bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office. When I walked in, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful, "Happy birthday, boss." She then asked if she could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better. Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said, "Since it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together?" Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, "That's a good idea." So we locked up the office, and since it was my birthday I said, "Why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country, instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and a nice lunch. We started driving back to town when my secretary said, "Why don't we go by my place, and I will fix you another martini?" It sounded like a good idea, since we didn't have much to do in the office. So we went to her apartment, and she fixed some martinis. After a while, she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable," and she left the room. In a few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids. And there I sat with nothing on but my socks. 12 Bury Mr in My 1937 llodgr No one likes to think about dying, but occasionally we need to remember life's limitations. In the midst of tragedy, my readers find the time to educate me about the best way to face this ultimate challenge: Togetherness Henry Canon Holland Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each other, we still are. Call me by my old fa-miliar name. Speak to me in the same way you always have. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it always was. There is absolute unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of your mind be-cause I am out of your sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is past. Nothing has been lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before-only better. Infinitely happier. We will be one, together forever.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers