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Dear Ann Landers,
lease say a word to the smug, self- satisfied dames who think they deserve a medal because they gain so little weight during pregnancy that they don't even have to buy maternity clothes. How a woman carries the baby depends on the way she's built. A woman can't choose her bone structure any more than she can choose the color of her eyes. With my first baby I gained only eleven pounds, but I was so enormous that our friends were taking bets it would be twins for sure and maybe triplets. My sister-in-law gained twenty-seven pounds, and nobody knew she was pregnant until she was due to go to the hospital. So, please, Ann, tell that obnoxious dame not to be so proud of herself. It's all in the lap of the gods.-Mother Hood.

Dear Mother,
It's also in the lap of the ladies-and some ladies don't see their laps for six months because they use pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything in sight. The build is important, but the gal who eats sensibly and keeps her weight down will look better-and she'll feel better, too. Dear Ann: I'm thirty-two, have been married for three years, and both my husband and I want a family awfully bad. The problem is that I am petrified of childbirth. Whenever a friend tells me she is pregnant, I become so envious I can hardly stand it. Then I get to thinking about the agony of labor pains, and I'm glad it's not me. The conflict is terrible, and I don't know what to do about it. I know I'm being unfair to my husband, and this has caused terrible guilt feelings. Is there any hope for me?-Childless Dear Childless: There are over three billion people in the world and every single one of them got here the same way. Some women have prolonged and excruciating deliveries. Other women have had such speedy deliveries that their babies are bom in taxis, in hospital corridors, and in elevators. Make an appointment with an obstetrician and discuss your anx-ieties. He will describe the various types of anesthesia which should give you reassurance. Look at it this way: If you had an attack of appendicitis, you'd have the bellyache and nothing to show for it.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers