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Dear Ann Landers,
lease don't tell me you aren't a law-yer. I know you aren't, but you say you want to help people in 162 trouble and I'm in plenty right now. My wife and I went to an open-air theater last week, and we sat behind a couple of gabby women. My wife asked them twice if they would please be quiet so we could hear the lines. They said they were there to enjoy themselves and if we didn't like it we could find other seats. After twenty minutes of listening to those magpies, my wife lost her temper and slammed the noisier woman over the head with her pocketbook. She let out a blood-curdling scream, and of course everybody craned their necks to see what was going on. The manager rushed over and made a big deal of it. He took our names and asked us to leave. Yesterday my wife received an order to appear in court. The charge is assault and battery. Must we go to court on these trumped-up charges?-S.L.

Dear S.L.,
Since you already know I am not a lawyer, I don't have to tell you. I will tell you, however, you'd better hire one. What you received was a summons and this means no foolin'.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers