Dear Ann Landers,
"There is nothing wrong with me, Ann Landers. You are the one who needs professional help. My wife is twenty-eight years old. She has her whole life before her. My mother is sixty-four. I shall continue to spend every Janu-ary in Florida with my mother as long as she lives. My wife belongs home with the children." Some women dislike their mothers-in-law even before they meet and it's the husband's fault. He sometimes paints such glowing pictures of "

dear old Mom” that he gives the girl an inferiority complex, and plants a premature dislike for this paragon in-law. Many mother-in-law problems are bound up in some way with food, per-haps because food is an ancient symbol for love. It may be the unconscious motivation for two women who attempt to battle it out in the kitchen. These complaints tell the story,
"My husband's mother phones him at work and asks him to stop by her house for his favorite dish-meatballs and cabbage." Or, "My mother-in-law insists on bringing matzo-ball soup over here because she knows Lou loves it, and I can't make it as well as she can." A woman who had been married seven years wrote, "My mother-in-law comes over every Wednesday and takes over my kitchen. She likes to prepare special Italian dishes for her son. I've asked her for recipes dozens of times, but she claims she never measures anything." I tell these wives they can only win by co-operating. If a mother-in-law wants to prepare special dishes and bring them over-fine. If she wants to come to the house once a week and cook a meal, what's wrong with that? Many women are happy to pay a caterer a good price to do the same thing. If a mother-in-law finds pleasure in doing these things for her son, why fly into a rage? The smart wife who permits her mother-in-law the satisfaction of mixing batter in her kitchen now and then often ensures that her mother-in- law will not mix in more vital matters. I take the firm position that newlyweds will be happier in a one-room apartment (even if it's under a bowling alley) than in a mansion which be-longs to his or her parents. Living under one roof is bound to produce a long list of small irritations. And an accumulation of irritations can add up to an atomic explosion after several months. Every young couple should be free to settle their differences privately, outside the hearing range of relatives. They should have a place of their own in which to make the transition from cloud nine to down-to-earth living. No two women make a bed or peel a potato exactly the same way. The mother-in-law may make a better apple pie, but even if it isn't better, her son will probably think it is because Mom made it. Newlyweds often have difficulty adjusting sexually. In-laws in an adjoining bedroom can complicate the problem. Young marrieds are frequently shy and the knowledge that parents are close by can be horribly inhibiting. One young bride wrote from Salt Lake City: