AnnLanders.com, Advice by Ann Landers - []
Our Featured Column from the Archives: [Read More Featured Columns]
[Previous] [Next]
Section:
 
 

Dear Ann Landers,
"Heck no. I would die if my name were printed in the paper." When I told him I would ask you not to print his name, he said, "OK, but don't tell the relatives." So, here it is, Ann. My husband had a hard time holding back the tears when he read it, and so did I. -No Name in Omaha Dear Omaha: Thank you for sending your son's letter. It is truly one of the sweetest letters I've ever read. I'm sure my readers will love it:

Dear Dad,
I wish I had some money so I could buy you a neat present for Father's Day, but I am broke, so please let this letter be your present. Even though you don't wear a suit and tie to work like Tommy's dad, I wouldn't trade you for anything. Tommy's dad brings work home from his office every night and even on weekends. They never go to the zoo or play ball in the park or go fishing off the pier. I like the way you talk to me when I am down. You always make me see that things aren't so bad and that they will get better, which they al-ways do. I like the way you don't let me get away with much. Sometimes I act mad when I don't get my way, but deep down I am glad you are strict. I would be scared to death if you let me do anything I want. I like that you and Mom agree on the rules around here. At Tommy's house, if his mom says he can't do something, he goes and asks his dad because he knows his dad will say OK just to get rid of him. And then there is a fight. Kids hate it when their mom and dad fight. I like the way you tell me the truth about everything. When I grow up and have kids, I want to be just like you. Yours Truly-Jimmy Twelve Rules for Raising Children Remember that a child is a gift from God, the richest of all blessings. Do not try to mold him in the image of yourself, your father, your mother, your brother or your neighbor. Each child is an individual and should be permitted to be himself. Don't crush a child's spirit when he fails. And never compare him with others who have done better. Remember that anger and hostility are natural emotions. Help your child find socially acceptable outlets for these feelings, or they may be turned inward and create physical or emotional problems. Discipline your child with firmness and reason. Don't let your anger throw you off balance. If he knows you are fair, you will not lose his re-spect or his love. Make sure the punishment fits "the crime." Even the youngest child has a keen sense of justice. Present a united front. Never join with your child against your hus-band or your wife. This creates emotional conflicts and generates de-structive feelings of guilt, confusion and insecurity. Do not give your child everything his little heart desires. Permit him to know the thrill that comes from earning something. Do not deny him the greatest pleasure of all, the satisfaction that comes with achievement. Do not set yourself up as a model of perfection. This is a difficult role to play 24 hours a day. You will find it easier to communicate with your child if he knows that Mom and Pop can make mistakes, too. Don't make threats in anger or glowing promises when you are in a generous mood. Threaten or promise only what you can deliver. To a child, a parent's word means everything. If he loses faith in his parents, he will have difficulty believing in anything. Do not smother your child with gifts and lavish surprises. The purest and the healthiest love expresses itself in day-in, day-out disci-pline. Consistency builds self-confidence, trust and a strong base for character development. Teach your child that there is dignity in hard work, whether it is per-formed with a shovel or with delicate fingers that hold surgical instru-ments. Let him know that a useful life is a rewarding one and that a life of ease and pleasure-seeking is empty and meaningless. Do not try to protect your child against every blow and disappoint-ment. Allow him to get a few lumps. Adversity strengthens character and makes us compassionate. Trouble is the great equalizer, the com-mon denominator of living. He is bound to have some trouble in his life. Let him learn how to handle it. Teach your child to love God and to love his fellow man. Don't send your child to a place of worship-take him there. Children learn from example. Faith in God can be his strength and his light when all else fails.



Share this Column with Friends




What do you think?
Comments:

A Note from Margo:
Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

Also, any additional thoughts you might have. Thanks!
 
Please share your comments below:








Our Reader to Reader Question of the Week:


Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

Tell us what you think?

Popular Columns

Tag Cloud


Ask a Question
or
Post a Comment

"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers