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Dear Ann Landers,
t has been 14 months since my husband's sud-den death. He was 55. Ed and I were married 3 7 years and did everything together. Ed's fu-neral was the biggest the town had ever seen. But where are all those people now? The couples we socialized with for years have dropped me like a hot potato. Don't they realize that I'm still the same person, only now I don't have Ed? I joined a golf club. I volunteer one day a week at the hospital. But in the lonely hours I wonder what is the matter with me that no one in-vites me anywhere. I went with a female friend to a couple of singles parties, and we both felt out of place and would never go again. I've considered putting an ad in the shopping news to find a male companion to go to a movie with, or out to dinner. I love to dance, but I won't go to a ball-room alone. Men my age want younger girls. Ann, I'm ready to give up. Can you help me turn my life around? -Cleveland Widow

Dear Cleveland,
Unfortunately, dear, the world is not waiting to entertain and "include" widows. Most people are busy with their own lives. Have you thought of giving some parties for your old friends? Nothing fancy-Sunday hotdogs and baked beans, TV football view-ing get-togethers, anything to get a group together. And don't fail to include three or four extra men. Or, make the first move and invite an unattached man over for a home-cooked meal. Buy an extra ticket to a play or movie or concert and pick up the phone. This sort of thing is no longer considered out of line. What is needed is some positive forward movement on your part. Have you joined AARP, the American Association of Retired Persons? (In-quire about their Widowed Person's Service.) Cleveland has a fine program. The bottom line is, go for it, and please let me know how you do.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers