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Dear Ann Landers,
read your column regularly, and although I don't always agree with your advice, I think you have a lot of common sense when it comes to raising children. I have a perplexing problem with my 18-month-old son. He is a very active child, large and strong for his age. Just recently, he began play-fully hitting me. I would tell him, no, and that would be the end of it. In the past two weeks, however, his playful hitting is beginning to get to me. He climbs up in my lap says, "Hi, Mommy," then whacks me right in the face. I believe in spanking as a last resort, and I have spanked him a cou-ple of times for doing this, but it hasn't solved the problem. In fact, he has been hitting me even more. The strange thing is that he never hits anyone but me. This whole thing has put a terrific strain on my patience. Can you offer a solution? -Worried

Dear Worried,
First, stop hitting the child. It only teaches him that you can inflict pain, and as you have already discovered, it's no deter-rent When the youngster belts you, tell him again, in a very firm man-ner, "No-you must not hit anyone." Then put him in a chair and make him sit there for 30 minutes-no TV^ no toys, no books, nothing to amuse him. Thirty minutes will seem like an eternity to an 18-month- old. This punishment conveys the message that hitting is unacceptable and you are in control. And that is what you need to get across. After this letter appeared, several readers told me that 30 minutes is far too long for a child so young. They suggested 10 to IS minutes would he more ap-propriate. I agreed and said so. One letter that I printed provoked a huge response from my readers. Read on to see why:



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good."
-Ann Landers