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Dear Ann Landers,
read those 12 guidelines to help sons choose a mate, and I think some of them are clearly sexist. No. 3, for example, says to leave her alone if "she has sex with you on the first date." Well, if she had sex, so did he. A male who is so judg-mental is no candidate for marriage. The same goes for the one that says to leave her alone if "she can get her pantyhose off in less than five seconds. It means she has had lots of practice." If the man has had enough experience to set a time limit, he, too, has had too much practice. I wonder how long it took for him to get his socks off, or was he in such a hurry he just left them on? And No. 8 is absurd. Leave her alone if "you suggest a cocktail be-fore noon and she accepts." What was he doing suggesting a cocktail at that hour in the first place? Does he have a booze problem? I have no beef with the man's warning signals, but why didn't you point out that some of these red flags also reflected poorly on men? It is considered perfectly OK for men to have one-night stands, get skunk drunk and want sex on the first date, but women who do this are called tramps. It's time men were held to the same standard. And it's also time that Dad in Anaheim gave his sons some advice on how they should treat women. -Faithful Reader in Chicago

Dear CEiicago,
Thanks for nailing those male chauvinist attitudes. In my opinion, the women's responses made a monkey out of "Anaheim." Sometimes my readers send me letters that are real knee-slappers.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset."
-Ann Landers