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Dear Ann Landers,
have two children and I'm expecting my third in a few weeks. The problem is my sister Vera. Vera has been married eighteen years, but she has no children. Three years ago, Vera and her husband moved out of the state. She has come home quite often to help out when any of us had new babies and when Mamma was sick. Lately she's been writing such remarks as "Little ones wear me out. They make me nervous. I don't think I could take it the way I feel now." (Vera has a slight case of arthritis, but she is not crippled or anything like that.) I have the feeling she doesn't want to take care of my family when I go to the hospital and she's preparing me for the letdown. Ann, I feel it is my sister's Christian duty to help me out. Please tell her so.-Troubled

Dear Troubled,
Christian duty, my eye. Just because a woman is childless doesn't mean she's obliged to be a nurse or a maid for her sister. Imposing on relatives causes more trou-ble in this world than any five problems combined. If your sister had offered to help you out, fine. Since she did not, make other arrangements.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers