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Dear Ann Landers,
am in love with a twenty-one-year-old who has done something terrible. Last night Phil told me he was called up by the draft board and had to fill out a form. On the form he stated he was a homosexual. I asked why in the world he told such a lie and he replied, "Because I don't want to go into the Army, that's why." We talked for a long time and Phil said, "There are enough bums and loafers around who would rather go into the Army than work. I don't see why the government has to pull men away from good jobs when they don't want to go." If a man says he is a homosexual, is he excused from military service? If this is true, anyone who doesn't want to serve could use homosexuality as an excuse. Please tell me what the outcome will be.-Outa My Skull

Dear Skull,
In most states, Phil would be called in for a psychiatric examination and asked for a letter of verification from his physician. Then he will be questioned by a psychia-trist who could determine from his answers that he is lying. Phil could be charged with fraud, which might mean time in the cooler, or he might be inducted promptly. The draft board will decide.



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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
-Ann Landers