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Dear Ann Landers,
am a 70-year-old woman and have two male friends, one in Colorado, age 72, another in Oregon, age 69.1 lament the fact that both men, though attractive, interesting and successful, are impotent. Unfortunately, they become defensive instead of ac-knowledging it and seeking help. These men had long, happy marriages, as I did. I would love to find a man who could be a husband to me physically as well as emotionally, and I wonder if anything can be done about these two. Thanks, Ann. I will always be your number one fan. -Languishing in Virginia

Dear Va.,
We spoke with Dr. Irwin Goldstein, professor of urology at Boston University School of Medicine. He said about 30 million American men between 40 and 70 suffer from impotence. After the physical aspects of impotency are treated, the psychological problems must be addressed. There are four available therapies to treat impotence: medication, vacuum devices, bypass surgery and penile implants. Medication involves injecting the penis with a drug just before in-tercourse. It has an 80 percent overall success rate and is generally not hazardous when performed after thorough training. Dr. Wdliam Fitch of the Impotence Information Center in Min-nesota informed us about the vacuum pump device, which is com-pletely external and works for most men. It costs about $300 and lasts indefinitely. The bypass is a surgical procedure best for men under 40 whose im-potence is caused by injury to the artery that supplies blood to the penis. The success rate is about 70 percent to 75 percent. Implants are 90 percent successful but involve invasive surgery and are recommended only when all other therapies fail. If the two gendemen are not interested in any of the above, I hope you realize that there can be a great deal of satisfaction in holding, ca-ressing and just touching. There's actually a name for this. It is "outer- course."



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset."
-Ann Landers