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Dear Ann Landers,
am a 30-year-old mother of two young chil-dren. At first, I fell into this frightening habit to get rid of my anger. Now I do it for excitement. My thing is starting fires in trash cans in alleys. No one ever has been hurt, nor has any property been dam-aged-so it does seem like a harmless way to have a little fun. But in my quieter moments, I worry that maybe I will go further and set fire to a building and cause some serious damage. When crowds gather to watch the flames extinguished (someone al-ways calls the fire department), I feel very important. Then, there are times when I want to run to the nearest policeman and say, "I did it!" but I'm afraid of what might happen if I confess. I know I'm a person who needs to feel important or I wouldn't be doing such things. I also get a feeling of power when I see what I can stir up. I admitted all this to my therapist several months ago, and he told me to stop-but I can't control myself. I am writing to you because you are a level-headed person, and I think you can set me straight. Please try. -A Harmless Firebug in a Western City

Dear Friend,
My first suggestion is get another therapist. Your present one sounds weak and ineffective, to say the least. You have a mental illness called pyromania, which most authorities believe is related to a sexual problem. People who are emotionally dis-turbed, as you are, can be extremely dangerous not only to society but to themselves and their families. I urge you to call the Mental Health Association in your area or the American Psychiatric Association in Washington at once. Describe your problem, and ask that they recommend a therapist who special-izes in this illness.



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset."
-Ann Landers