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Dear Ann Landers,
aving been happily married for 34 years, I have tried to set a good example for my four sons, all under age 30. Unfortunately, I have watched two of their marriages end in divorce. Our grandchildren were the real losers. I know there are two sides to every story, but from the very begin-ning, there were signs that those marriages were not going to work. I try not to prejudge the women my sons go out with, but after meeting several of their dates, I decided to give them some advice. En-closed is a copy of a letter I gave to each of my sons. If you run it in your column, it might help other young men make better choices. -Dad in Anaheim, Calif.

Dear Dad,
Here's your letter, and it's a good one. Thanks for send-ing it my way. To My Son One of the benefits of being a father is being able to give advice. Based on experience and the desire to have only the best for my sons, I offer these observations about selecting a mate for life. Leave her alone if: She does not know whether hamburger comes from a cow or a pig. She can get her pantyhose off in less than five seconds. It means she has had lots of practice. She has sex with you on the first date. Her parents call you "son" on your first meeting. She smokes but tells you she can quit anytime she wants. She tells you she didn't get her high school diploma because her parents moved frequently. When you ask her where she goes to church, she tells you her high school class once toured the Crystal Cathedral. You suggest a cocktail before noon, and she accepts. She says the words "till death do us part" in marriage vows are out-dated. She tells you she has never voted in a presidential election. She works and makes it clear that her money is her money and your money is our money. She wants a baby soon-to cement the relationship.



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Hi! It's Margo here. I'd love to know what you think of the letters -- and the answers!

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Dear Readers,
, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass."
-Ann Landers