Dear Ann Landers,
ave you heard of a Viking funeral? I hadn't until two weeks ago. Since then I have thought of little else. Please give me some guidance. I'm all fogged up on this one. My grandfather has told my brother and me that he wants a Viking funeral. We didn't know what it was until he explained. The deceased person is put in a boat. The boat is set on fire and shoved out to sea. Grandpa lives in Minneapolis, and there is no sea anywhere around. He says he wants us to use Lake Harriet instead. It all sounds very sen-timental, but the other members of the family insist it's a crazy idea, and they will not agree to it. My brother and I think Grandpa should have his way. After all, when life has gone out of the body what difference does it make what is done with it? Please agree with us. It would make Grandpa happy to know you are on his side. It might also help persuade the other members of the family to grant that sweet old man his last wish.

Dear Joe,
Every state has its own burial laws, and I know of no state where a Viking funeral is legal. Break the news gently to Grandpa. It sounds as if he had his heart set on it.