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Dear Ann Landers,
verybody is terrified of AIDS. You have said repeatedly that the only safe sex is no sex. You have also said that this is not realistic for some and have suggested condoms. How reliable are condoms? I'm a sexually active 3 3-year-old male. I've had condoms break, leak and come off. How can you recommend them? -On Tenterhooks in Tennessee

Dear Tennessee,
The only 100 percent reliable way to avoid AIDS through sexual contact is to stop having sex. Most people will not give up sex, so they should protect themselves as best they can. I turned your letter over to Dr. David Satcher, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. Here are his comments: "Scientific evidence demonstrates that latex condoms, when used consistently and correcdy, are highly effective in stopping HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. The Food and Drug Administration requires manufacturers to test every batch of condoms made. The FDA also regularly tests condoms to be sure they meet stringent quality stan-dards. Samples representing millions of condoms have shown that the average batch tests better than 99.7 percent defect-free. "The FDA and other researchers have shown that latex condoms are an effective barrier to viruses, including HIV and the much smaller virus, hepatitis B. In one set of laboratory tests, the FDA subjected condoms to unrealistically strenuous conditions, such as virus concen-trations 100 million times higher than found in infected people. Even under these conditions, researchers concluded that condoms would re-duce exposure to the virus by 10,000 times. "Two recent studies have been conducted with a total of 550 cou-ples, in which one person was infected with HIV, and the other was not. Among those who did not use condoms or did not use them every time, 11 percent became infected. But among the 294 couples report-ing consistent condom use, 1 percent became infected-none out of 123 couples in one study and three of 171 couples in the other. "Those three infections could have been caused by user errors. When condoms slip, break or leak, user error-not product failure-is usually the problem. Also Vaseline or mineral-oil based lubricants will erode latex. "Refraining from sexual activity is the only sure way to prevent HIV infection. However, latex condoms are highly effective when used con-sistently and correctly." Not everyone who tests positive for AIDS actually has the disease. False posi-tives can and do occur-and for a variety of reasons:



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, whatever they needed I provided. What really hurt my son and I the most was the obituary - we were not mentioned at all. Our friends (mine and hers) were appalled. I was embarrassed and upset for not just me, but for my son-who loved her also. I never been so upset. Her x-husband put his wife and kids and their grandchildren in the obituary, who my girlfriend barely knew. They live an hour away from us. I know its silly to be mad over a little section of the newspaper, but it still hurts. Will time let this devastating loss of her and this article ever go away? I am so angry at this whole situation, its not like we can go and rewrite an obituary notice.

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"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies."
-Ann Landers